Making the Retirement Community Decision

By Sue Mooney
Columbus, Ohio

Sue Mooney

There was the look of disbelief on the faces of friends when I announced, “I’m moving to a retirement community.”  Frequently there was shocked silence or an immediate “Why?”  One neighbor said, “Sue, you mow your own grass, plant your own flowers, shovel your own drive, wash your own windows.  You’re in great physical shape.  Why would you want to move to a retirement community?”  I responded with “You have just listed four of my top ten reasons for moving to a retirement community.”

During the spring and summer I awaken on Wednesday mornings to the hum of the lawn mowers and trimmers that keep my new home perfectly groomed.  A crew plants the current season flowers and keeps the mulch looking fresh. On snowy days and nights I hear the snow plows clearing paths for me and my car as I stay toasty warm inside.  My windows are washed two times a year.  What a joy!!!

After my husband Dave died, our home that had been perfect for raising our sons now seemed big and painfully empty.  I decided to downsize.  I considered a smaller house, a condo, an apartment.  No, I didn’t want to own any more real estate and I only wanted to move once.  Dave and I had years ago decided to make Westminster Thurber Community (W.T.C.), an Ohio Presbyterian Retirement Community, our retirement destination. I talked with the marketing department and went on the “wait list,” thinking I had a couple of years to dispose of our home, nonessentials and years of memories. At home that evening I decided a plan was needed to carry out this project. I should start working on it soon.  I knew two years would pass quickly.  Five months later an apartment became available and I looked at it and immediately saw myself there.  I eagerly signed on and had to fly into high gear with my plan.  I had two months until move in.

I wanted to break this seemingly overwhelming task into doable tasks.  I decided to divide the house into zones.  I would spend two hours a day on one of the zones.  Sometimes the two hours would be between 10:00 p.m. and 12:00 a.m. I didn’t miss a day.  On days when I was tempted to work longer I quit after two hours because I found that working longer hours caused me to make poor decisions.  I would approach each cupboard, closet and storage area with three boxes.  One box for what I would take to W.T.C., box two for things that someone else could use (recycle) and box three for throw away.  When the area was cleaned out I would put back the things that I would be taking with me.  (Later when I moved I could assign helpers to pack everything in that area because it had all been sorted.) The items that were still good and useable I put in the basement in one room that had been cleared out.  I referred to this as my “recycle room.” 

Then there were Dave’s much-loved books.  We had walls lined with books and he had read every one.  As I touched each book to remove it from the shelves, I remembered the time in our life when he read it and his discussion of it. I couldn’t part with all of them.  I picked the ones I thought I would like to read.  (Our son, also a book lover, took the rest.)  I called WTC and asked them if they could make one of the double closets into a bookcase.  They agreed to do it and it has worked beautifully.

The Ohio Presbyterian Retirement Community. Photo courtesy of OPRC.

Then there were the pictures.  Many were in albums and many in boxes.  Pictures of babies snuggled in blankets being lovingly held by now deceased grandmothers.  And, those same babies later, in caps and gowns, wedding attire and then holding their own babies.  These had to be saved.  Many pictures were framed.  These I took out of frames and put them into a newly purchased leather box.  I threw out duplicates, poor prints and negatives.

Zip lock bags were a big help.  I was able to condense many items by cutting out a page or saving the most important part of some bulky item.  A sample of each boys artwork, most interesting grade card, best piece of writing, best teacher or coach comments, best newspaper article went into a zip lock.  The rest went to the trash or shredder.  These bags were carefully filed into a plastic file box.  The space saving was amazing.  These pieces are symbols that help me keep the memories of that time.

Invitations to the “recycle room” were extended first to sons and wives, extended family, church family and neighbors.  What fun to see my things leaving the house in the hands of people happy to have them.  One young neighbor caressed a casserole dish she remembered our bringing dinner in the day her family moved into our neighborhood.  Everything left was given to volunteer organizations.

I have celebrated my 65th birthday and two years of retirement living.  I have never regretted my decision to live this life style. My friends and neighbors seem pleased that I continue to be a part of my old community and church.  I have just added a whole new interesting community of friends.

The best part of my new community (as was true of my old) is the people.  I have made new friends and renewed old friendships.  I love hearing the life stories of my new friends who have and continue to live rich full lives.  I never dreamed that I would have the opportunity to be good friends with my most favorite nursing professor from OSU.  Each day I learn something new and interesting about my neighbors.  The staff is a vital part of my new community.  They feel like friends and family. 

My own family seems to like to come for visits.  My four grandchildren, ages three to six, think it’s a wonderful adventure to come to Grandma’s.  They think the extra attention from my neighbors is special.  We can walk to three parks, the grocery, several restaurants, ice cream parlor and swim in the wonderful roof top pool that overlooks the city.  It beats “over the river and through the woods” for their generation.

Being free of house and yard responsibilities has given me time to actually enjoy “working out” in our fitness center, to take long walks in my interesting urban neighborhood,  more time with my children, grandchildren and friends, more time for volunteering, more time for my parish nursing in my church.  I’m engaged to a man who lives outside my community, but he has accepted my new neighbors and neighborhood and at times seems envious of my life style of few hassles. The last 10 months I have been on the chemotherapy and bone marrow transplant journey.  I spent 100 days in utter isolation.  This meant physical separation from my old community.  My new community accepted me in mask and baseball capped bald head with no problem.  Interesting and encouraging notes and cards came daily slipping under my door.   Every one of those days I felt totally supported by my communities.  I feel as though I have been given a special gift to live in the retirement community of Westminster Thurber.

Sue Mooney is the recipient of the 2008 Elise Stutzer Award in Health Ministry.  One of the “pillars” of the Presbyterian office of National Health Ministries, this quintessential “every-woman,” has been an adjunct college professor, author and mentor and continues to serve as the Parish Nurse at Overbrook Presbyterian Church in Columbus, Ohio.