Single-Parent Households and the Church

The world of single parent families has both a public face and an interior reality. The public face is apparent by the statistics reported by the United States Bureau of Census. Today, one of every four families with children is a single-parent family. Sixty-one percent of all children born after 1986 spend at least one year in a single-parent household before reaching age 18. Forty-six percent of those single-parent families are the result of divorce. The interior reality is a more quiet isolation within those households.

For many single-parent households the church is a welcome support network-a kind of extended family.

For others, the church serves as a painful reminder of the fact that their own circumstance does not fit the template assumed and assigned by the faith community. What can we do as individuals and congregations to connect with this significant segment of our population? More importantly, what is God calling us to do in relation to single-parent families?

A study carried out by Search Institute reports that youth of single parent households are twice as likely to engage in at risk behaviors as those who are from two-parent homes. In the course of the research, however, an amazing phenomenon was discovered. There was a portion of young people within the single-parent group who not only abstained from at risk behaviors; they excelled and succeeded at a rate higher than their peers in either single-parent or two-parent homes. The study called this group "thrivers". A key factor among these "thrivers" was the presence of external social assets; quality schools, adult friends who are a positive influence, and involvement in religious institutions. Peter Benson writes, "It may be that this external network of support is key to success in single-parenting. And it certainly suggests that communities and institutions that serve families and youth can have a positive impact on the health of these families."1

Here are a few considerations to keep in mind as we carry out ministry with single-parent families:

• Consider holding parenting workshops or a single parent support group during a children's or youth activity. Time is a precious commodity for single parents so timing is everything. Family counselors will often facilitate such groups without charge as a means of community outreach.
• Think through the costs of programs and trips for families, children and young people and possibly set a scholarship assistance, policy for camps and conferences. Single-parent households statistically operate on a budget that is 25 to 50 percent less than married households (United States Bureau of Census).
• Provide childcare during committee meetings and programs where you would want to recruit the gifts and skills of single parents.
• Become intentional about inviting single-parent families to participate in service projects. This is an inexpensive and meaningful family activity where all the participants experience the reality that they have something valuable to offer the community.

Here are some resources that may be helpful in shaping your congregations ministry programs in a way that embraces single-parent families.

Parenting Alone: The Call and the Challenge
by Kay Huggins
A Presbyterian Mariner Publication, Belleville, IL, 1990.

Item #700200
$5.95

Youth in Single-Parent Families: Risk and Resiliency
Peter Benson and Eugene Roehlkepartian, Search Institute. 1993.

Forming Ministries with Families: A Planning Guide for Congregations
Office of Family and Single Adult Ministries.

Item #7025003209
$9.95

The Single Parent Resource
by Brook Noel Beverly Hills: Champion Press, 1998.

"Gathered Around the Table"
2005 Christian Education Conference at Montreat Conference Center, July 31–August 5, 2005. Conference on family ministries, including a workshop on "Single Parenting With and Without the Church." Contact LaurenM@montreat.org

Children's Living Arrangements and Characteristics: March 2002
US Bureau of Census, available in pdf file at www.census.gov/prod/2003pubs/p20-547.pdf

Jon Brown, senior editor/coordinator for Mission Education and Promotion, can be reached by email. Martha Miller is the Associate for Family and Single Adult Ministries and served as consultant for this article. You can contact Martha Miller by clicking the link to send her an email.

1 Youth in Single-Parent Families: Risk and Resiliency, Peter Benson and Eugene Roehlkepartian, Search Institute. 1993, page 9.

Additional Information:

• Single parent households grew from five percent of all United States households in 1970 to nine percent of all United States households in 1990. This number, however, fails to account for the many single parents and their children who have moved into the homes of grandparents or into the households of friends. (United States Bureau of Census, hereafter, BOC-1990)
• Single parent households with children under the age of 18 numbered 8.6 million in 1990. This is a 46 percent increase since 1980. Seven million were single parent families headed by a woman with 1.6 million single parent families headed by a man. (BOC-1990).
• The number of single parent households headed by men have increased from 14 percent of all single parent households in 1980 to 19 percent of all single parent households in 1990. (BOC-1990).
• Out of the 5.7 million women who were due child support in 1989, only 50 percent of the women received full payment while 25 percent received nothing. (BOC-1990).
• Forty-five percent of single parent families headed by a woman and 19 percent of single parent families headed by a man live in poverty, as compared to only eight percent of married couples with children under the age of 18. (BOC-1990).
• Divorce accounts for 46 percent of all single parent households, 21 percent are due to marital separation, 25 percent are due to births to unmarried mothers, and seven percent are due to the death of a spouse. (BOC-1990)
• Twenty-five percent of all births in the United States today are to unmarried mothers, an increase from 11 percent in 1970. (BOC-1990)
• Between 1970 and 1991 the proportion of children in two-parent living arrangements declined from 85 percent to 72 percent while the proportion of children living with one parent has more than doubled, from 12 percent to 26 percent. (BOC-1991)
• The largest proportional increase of any marital status category occurred among divorced persons. The number of currently divorced persons more than tripled from 4.3 million in 1970 to 15.8 million in 1991, representing nine percent of all adults ages 18 and over in 1991. (BOC-1991)
• Sixty-one percent of all children will spend all or part of their formative years in a single parent household. (BOC-1990)
• Sixteen million children live with only one parent—this number has doubled since 1970. (BOC-1990)
• Twenty-six percent of all United States households that contain children under the age of 18 are single parent households. (BOC-1990)
• In 1991, the majority of children living with only one parent (88 percent) lived with their mother although the proportion living with their father has grown in recent years. (BOC-1991)
• Between 1970 and 1980, there was little or no change in the proportion of single parent children living with their father (from 9.1 percent to 8.5 percent), but since 1980, the proportion has now increased to 12.1 percent in 1991. (BOC- 1991)
• Children of divorce make up the largest share of one-parent children, 37 percent, followed by children born to a parent who had never married, 33 percent. (BOC-1991)
• Among the 3.3 million grandchildren who live in their grandparent's home, 50 percent had only their mother present and five percent had only their father present. (BOC-1991)
• Married couples' weekly earnings ($783) continued to be about 25 percent higher than those of families maintained by men ($520) and twice as much as the earnings of families maintained by women ($385). (BOC-1991)