Helping Young People Belong at (not just to) the Church
 “Do I belong here?” I think many of us pose that question when we change jobs, start a new relationship, go back to school, or join a new club. I am quite sure that the young people who have bravely walked into youth groups across the country over the years have asked themselves that very question. Do I belong here?
Much of the research done in youth ministry in the last few years has revealed that now more than ever young people are looking for a place to belong. This belonging does not mean a young person is merely a member of a certain congregation: “I belong to Memorial Presbyterian.” Belonging means young people matter to their congregation, “I belong at Memorial Presbyterian.”
In 2005 Bethel Seminary conducted a nationwide Exemplary Youth Ministry Study research project. It studied small rural churches ranging from fewer than 100 members to large suburban congregations with more than 10,000 members. Some churches had multiple paid staff, while others ran strictly on volunteer power. Some congregations had amazing weekly programs, and some had little if any regular programming.
The study found a common thread in the congregations that had vital and viable youth ministries. Those congregations made their youth feel important to the whole mission of the church. They gave them opportunities in all aspects of church life and — perhaps most important — s the youth felt like they belonged there!
So, how do you help your churches create a sense
of belonging?
A Prayer Partner is an adult who promises to pray
daily for a particular youth in the congregation. It is recommended that prayer partners be an anonymous relationship. This allows more adults to participate, as some might not feel comfortable (or even be good at) interacting with teenagers.
For those looking to be more involved with the young folks in their midst there is mentoring, or Covenant Partners. An adult in the congregation who may not volunteer full-time can become a partner in the faith
with a young person or two.
Doing something for each other works both ways. Youth can feel connected to older adults by spontaneously raking their yard or taking them out for a spontaneous meal. These acts are easily facilitated, and the adult’s gratitude can stick with the young person for a long time.
When young people hear examples from the pulpit that are relevant to their lives, they can begin to understand that others are paying attention to young people and mindful of their whole lives, not just what happens at church. Anyone who says young people don’t listen in church might consider giving them something to listen to!
Confirming your faith in Jesus Christ and saying that you want to be part of the Body of Christ are huge steps with lots of questions. In many settings young people will settle for a vague answer. In confirmation they should not have to. Pastors are typically better equipped to answer a theological question in a fairly complete manner. Young people can be quite thoughtful; this can help them think
in terms of their faith, not just their culture.
We hear lots of complaints that young people don’t come to worship and then their families opt out. If we give them opportunities and responsibilities, however, they are likely to follow through. Maybe a young person can lead the Prayer of Confession or Call to Offertory every week.
Many churches relegate the youth choir to a smaller chapel service or
a special evening service because it hasn’t achieved the quality of the adult choir. So the youth aren’t concert hall material — let them praise anyway. Any time we make our youth feel as though they aren’t good enough, we are alienating them. Let’s make sure we
are drawing them in and not keeping them out!
For more information, contact Gina Yeager-Buckley at
(888) 728-7288, x5297, or Adrian McMullen at x5639, in the Office of Youth Ministry. |
