August 16, 2003

Dear Family and Friends,

Greetings once again from East Africa! With heat waves in Europe, blackouts in New York and surroundings, bombings in Indonesia, I am happy to write to you from cool and relatively uneventful Nairobi (at least at this moment!). Today I have been thinking of some of the more mundane practices of daily life and so offer them as a diversion from national and international events.

When visiting ministry teams come from the States, or exchange students come from North America to Daystar for a semester, we try to do a debriefing time with them before they head back home. We attempt to help them reflect on their time here in East Africa and to think ahead about how they will share what they have experienced in ways that enable others to gain a greater understanding of the world and other peoples as well. One of the questions I always ask is, “What things have you come to understand about culture in Kenya?”

I have been here almost nine years now, and I have been reflecting on these questions for myself. Here are a few of the basic conversational customs I picked up as I have lived within the Kenyan context:

• When someone talks of “my father” or introduces someone as “my brother from back home,” the one being introduced is not necessarily a member of their nuclear family. However, the relationship is as significant and as binding as if this person were their actual biological father or brother, and there may be quite a number who qualify for this distinction.
• When introducing oneself, one should say, “My names are…” which actually makes more sense than the American “My name is…” which is usually followed by two or three names. I would say, “My name is Marta Bennett,” whereas Justin here would say, “My names are Justin Kefa Wangai Bennett.”
• When a place is indicated to be “just there,” it can be immediately across the room, or ten miles from your present location.
• Even though I had drilled into me the importance in Africa of extensive and prolonged greetings (How are you? How’s the family? How are the children? Is the farm doing well? How is the church?), in Nairobi I have come to adopt the normal practice where people pass on the street, raise a hand in greeting while calling, “Fine,” to which the reply is “Fine,” as they both continue on their way.
• In the workplace or church, friends and colleagues greet each other with a handshake each and every time they meet, even if it is several times in a day. Only strangers do not shake hands.
• When a visitor comes to one’s home, one automatically serves tea with milk, no matter what time of day or night. The only comment is that one asks “how many?” (meaning spoons of sugar) in the midst of extensive greetings (here one makes up for the abbreviated greetings on the street).
• Having the same name as someone else does not necessarily indicate that the two are related (unless it is a grandchild carrying the grandparent’s name). In fact, even if a wife takes the husband’s name when she marries, it is often not the last name that she takes, because his last name isn’t his name; it most likely is his father’s name. So when Mercy Wanjiru marries Mwangi Kamau, she becomes Mrs. Mercy Mwangi, because Mwangi is her husband’s name, and Kamau is Mwangi’s father. She can’t become Mrs. Kamau, because she’s not marrying his father! And she keeps her own first name.
• When a phone conversation is finished, one just hangs up. No one says “Good-bye,” but somehow both know when the conversation has ended.
• When one is accosted on the street by vendors or beggars, it gets one nowhere to firmly refuse. Instead, it is far better to respond with “not today,” or “not just now.” When the hopeful reply is “Maybe later?” the correct answer is a nod with “maybe later.” Both know that it is very unlikely the two of you will ever meet again, but the relationship has not been severed, and one is free to continue on one’s way.
• All the language study of refined Swahili (“Kiswahili” is the correct term for the language; “Swahili” are a people group who predominantly speak it) is in vain when greeting in the streets. Instead of the respectful “Shikamoo” and “Marahaba,” (which has no exact translation but is always initiated by the younger, and responded to by the elder in age or status) in Nairobi the greetings are “Sasa?” (“Now?”) to which is replied “Fit” (pronounced “Feet” but meaning “Fit!”) or “Mambo?” (Things?) with the reply “Poa” (“Cool!”).

Meanwhile, at Daystar University, where I continue to serve as chair of postgraduate studies, we have welcomed the new students this week for orientation, with classes starting next week. We have added evening M.B.A. (Master of Business Administration) and M.A. counseling psychology programs, and the applicants are even more than we had anticipated, so we are scrambling to get enough desks and rooms for classes, a wonderful problem indeed!

On the home front, the children are on a one-month school holiday, before Justin (now 5 and a half) starts the equivalent of first grade and Imani (4) will continue in the pre-school/kindergarten. We have been enjoying a number of visitors and look forward to a few more in the next months.

Joy to you,

Marta

The 2003 Mission Yearbook for Prayer & Study, p. 45