November 20, 2008

Dear Friends,

It’s shocking. It shook the foundations of our faith and life. At first the tremors were imperceptible but gradually the intensity grew and our world began to quake. Stumbling like drunken fools we could no longer ignore the shock waves. It’s called “culture-shock,” and it is real.

At first we thought “It’s our own fault. Somehow we must be to blame for these uninvited feelings of confusion, disorientation, isolation, loneliness, and inadequacy.” As cultural differences began to intrude, depression and withdrawal started to take hold.

Where had all the excitement gone? What had become of our playful spirit of discovery, our initial experience of spiritual adventure? And what about our sense of “call?”

The market where we do our shopping.

Perhaps it’s the language barrier, or the continuous stares, or simply having the only pale skin in a sea of ebony. Being white has its privileges—you get to pay more for the same product, you are approached as a walking ATM machine, and you are often cut off in a line because you are usually too polite or confused to make a fuss. Or maybe it’s the sketchy phone service, the unreliable electricity, the monotonous diet and the ridiculous roads. Then there is the constant burning—burning the fields, burning the forests, burning the grassland, burning the trash. At home, we have staff during the day and watchmen at night so we don’t get much privacy. And of course the slow pace of life turns every daily errand into “un-American activity.” Sure, we need to slow down, but this is absurd. What’s more, we find we are simply stupid about all things Malawian. Ah, culture-shock.

Here’s the stinger. We did not even realize what was happening until we charged forward with emotions blaring. Angry, anxious, and frustrated at every turn we reacted with suspicion, rejection, and hostility. Pre-occupied with everything we didn’t like, we found ourselves acting every bit the ugly American.

That’s when we went back and read some of the material we had been given during our PC(USA) orientation (bless them). Oh what a relief it was! For one thing, we learned we are not the first to have such negative thoughts. When we read about different stages of culture shock we were encouraged to discover that we were actually making positive progress. Instead of being stuck in a stage of “disintegration” we were now experiencing “reintegration” where “Negative behavior is a form of self assertion and growing self-esteem.”

Bath time in Zambia.

Now, after four months, we appear to be flirting with the next step—“autonomy.” In reality, we are beginning to feel more “self-assured, relaxed, warm, and empathetic.” In other words, we think we are going to survive! “Be at home, feel at home” is the warm Malawian greeting. But such being and feeling was much easier when we were just temporary guests. Establishing our own home and our own being is a much bigger challenge than we expected.

Yet, we should have known. Think about it. Sooner or later, culture shock sets in for everyone who commits their life to follow the way of the Lord. Establishing our home and our being in God’s kingdom-culture is never easy. The initial excitement of being a Christ-follower is eventually challenged by the demands of kingdom life—“doing justice, loving kindness and walking humbly with our God.”

During this Advent season, we hope that you too are struggling with culture shock. As consumer culture conflicts with Kingdom culture you may be tempted to rebel and even become hostile to the way of the Lord. But take heart. Stay the course; keep your eyes on the crèche and the cross. Step by step, God will transform our anxiety with trust, our anger with humor, our frustration with relaxation, our loneliness with love; until one day we will all “be at home, feel at home” in “the kingdom of love and light.”

Wishing you a blessed Advent,

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