December 3, 2007

Barnacles, butterflies, strangers and true friends

Robert, Marianne, Nathan and Peter outside of Skardu in northern Pakistan.

2007 is coming to a close and our return to the United States in 2008 looms on the horizon. As we contemplate leaving here and returning to life in the United States, there are times we wonder if we’ve made the right decision. Perhaps you see the headlines from Pakistan and think we’re nuts for having doubts, but there is at least one event a week that reminds us of what we’ll miss. As we look back not just at 2007 but at nearly three years in Pakistan, here’s what we see:  barnacles, butterflies, strangers, and true friends.

The Harvard Business Review published a tool for classifying customers some years ago using these names. While HBR was concerned with classifying people by their potential for profitability, we’ll use it to classify those we’ve come to love in Pakistan:

The Butterflies:  These are the people who have flitted into our lives for brief periods, maybe a meal, perhaps a tea in our backyard, and have made our lives richer for even that short time. We think of delightful students from remote areas in Pakistan who’ve come for tea, people we met in the Kashgar airport after our trip on the Silk Road, the mission groups who have come to Pakistan eager to learn about Pakistan and the Christian community, Forman alumni who regale us with tales of their days on campus, retired missionaries coming back for a visit, security consultants (guess why they’re here!), and others too numerous to name. We marvel at the diversity of human experience these people bring and know we will miss these encounters when we return to the United States.

The Strangers:  one thing we’ve learned is that Pakistanis don’t believe anyone is a stranger to be distrusted. The Pakistani penchant for hospitality and welcome is the best part of being in Pakistan. It’s the older man who insists Marianne go to the front of the line for bus tickets or the young men who stumble over themselves to shake Nathan’s hand while we’re buying vegetables. It’s the elders in the Balti village who invite us into their home for tea and spend their precious cash on soft drinks for us even though we speak no common language. It’s the shopkeeper who insists on giving Peter gemstones he’s admired and refuses to take payment. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to be treated with such deference and honor. We know we’ll only rarely experience this among strangers in the United States.

The Barnacles:  Yes, there are annoying parts to this lifestyle as well. Pakistanis are among the most persistent people we’ve ever met. They just don’t give up! Some think that all Americans are incredibly wealthy and therefore have spare cash lying around to give to anyone who asks. Some keep coming back hoping we’ll help them get a U.S. visa, the churches who schedule Robert to preach without asking if he is available, and the students who beg for special favors time and again. Then there are those who think everyone stays up past midnight and ring the doorbell for a visit at 11:30 p.m. There are days we want to bolt the gates and hide!

Robert (right) with Babar Iqbal Rana, chaplain of Forman Christian College, at a recent student event on campus.

True Friends: this is the group that makes us misty-eyed: the people we will miss more than we can imagine. Our Tuesday Bible study group that has met faithfully every week for 18 months (and going strong); the college chaplain, Babar Iqbal Rana, who has been Robert’s translator and closest pal; our fellow missionaries from the PC(USA) and other organizations; the match man who watches for our van each morning and asks about his “baji” (sister) every day; our house staff who have served us faithfully; and our many colleagues at FC College who have graciously helped us adapt to their country and culture. We’ll miss being surrounded by students singing at the top of their lungs during chapel services on Fridays and the friends who bring cakes and sweets on special occasions. There are our true friends back in the United States as well who’ve prayed for us and shown their concern through frequent emails. Because of these people our lives have been enriched in ways we never thought possible when we arrived in 2005.

So, yes we are torn. We’ll return to the United States in April 2008 with a short time to be on interpretation assignment, and then we’ll embark on new careers. Our plan is to return to Richmond and travel from there to see family and visit churches that have supported us. If you’d be interested in having us speak in your church, please email us with that request and we will look at the scheduling options. Our term of service ends on June 30, 2008, and our speaking after that date will be limited to our spare time and occasional weekends.

May your Christmas holidays be a joyful reminder of all that God has blessed you with this year and a promise of hope and grace to come.  We hope you’ll take the time to appreciate the butterflies, strangers, true friends and, yes, even the barnacles in your midst.

Merry Christmas and happy New Year!

Robert, Marianne, Nathan and Peter

The 2007 Mission Yearbook for Prayer & Study, p. 111