2 April 2008
Houston, Texas

Crying in my sleep

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with my son Everett in his hospital room at the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. He is recovering from his latest round of chemotherapy—high-dose ifosfamide and etoposide, a second-line regimen used in the treatment of Ewing’s sarcoma. Last week we learned that Everett had not responded to a new experimental drug he had received for the past month; and as his tumor had previously become resistant to the first-line chemotherapy, his doctor recommended we move to this next line of treatment. The regimen is highly toxic and requires hospitalization to manage the side effects, mainly damage to the kidneys. He was in the hospital six days and got to come home today. After two weeks of rest and recovery, he’ll go back in the hospital for the next round of chemotherapy.

We had hoped and prayed that last month’s treatment with the new experimental drug would work; but the follow-up scans showed that, despite the treatment, Everett’s tumor had increased in size. That was difficult news for us, because it means that Everett now faces a quite complicated and uncertain course with no easy medical outcome. Friday night was especially hard for me, as Everett lay in the hospital receiving his chemotherapy. Sleep is a time when my mind integrates the information it has received and evaluates the problems it faces; and not infrequently I will wake up in the morning with a solution to a difficult problem or a way through a complicated situation. And the more my heart is oriented towards God, the closer I feel that solution is to his will. But Friday night was unusual, for the next morning there was waiting for me no solution, no counsel from God. Instead, I woke up crying and knew I had been crying even in my sleep.

One thing is clear to me: I must concentrate on helping Everett and my family, especially over the next few weeks until we know he is responding to the current chemotherapy. So I have cancelled my work-related travel engagements and am planning some special things to do with him. The Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) World Mission offices to which we relate have been quite supportive of Cindy and me by allowing us the time we need to be with our son. I wish there were a way, other than through our letters, that we could express our deep gratitude to them and to all of you who have been so helpful.

Yours,

Les

The 2008 Mission Yearbook for Prayer & Study, p. 89