Simon has been working with one
of the UMN projects that will become independent, ready or not,
in July 2004. Rural Development Center (RDC) is a skills-training
institute focusing on equipping poor and marginalized farmers
with practical skills in farming, forest management, animal husbandry,
and basic hygiene. For 20 years, the field staffs were on a good
salary, carrying out the training work and leaving the fundraising,
planning, and evaluation to senior management at UMN. Their initial
plan was simply to find another overseas donor who will continue
to give them money with few questions asked. Simon rightly pointed
out that we cannot go on a new direction by going harder on the
same direction, and they must take ownership of the services and
prepare their own vision and plan. These suggestions fell on deaf
ears and when shouted loudly enough they complained about the
noise. Nine months after the initial discussions, a very interested
but also demanding financial partner from Finland wanted to know
how RDC is going to account for the value and cost effectiveness
of their work. After two additional months of work, the new leadership,
all Nepali and none from the headquarters, came up with a plan
Simon would have been proud to call his own. Why did it take almost
one year to get to the “obvious” solution? The RDC
folks tell Simon, that “You were explaining to us, but we
did not understand fully, thus we had neither the confidence nor
the commitment to make it our goal. Thank you for sticking with
us and not giving up.”
Simon has had other similar experiences. Several times, Simon
was given a task which he carried out with dedication and made
“good” recommendations with the study, which were
not followed through and died a natural death. Simon questioned
the commitment and integrity of the people and labeled them as
political animals. Subsequent reports were always more critical
and condemning rather than assisting in the discovery of the truth.
For this Simon asks for forgiveness and new opportunities.
Reflecting on this, we found very few instances where we “explained”
or “showed” sufficiently well for others to be convinced
and commit themselves in the “new way.” True change
occurs only when it’s based on “firsthand knowledge,”
and the resulting confidence and commitment provides the power.
The greatest change to accept Jesus and the Lord and Savior requires
true firsthand knowledge, and no amount of good explanations about
God and Jesus or the exemplary life of missionaries is sufficient
to set others off on the journeys of Jesus’s discipleship.
Now we know that our responsibility is neither to convince others
with our knowledge of Jesus nor by our model lifestyle of love
and compassion. When we are convinced of the truthfulness of Jesus,
we can afford to stick around and wait to be used by God to reveal
himself to others. God can use our weaknesses and strengths with
equal effectiveness. We experienced effortless days with the indwelling
Jesus, and we also experienced very tiring and energy-consuming
days with little true joy while trying to live a Spirit-filled
life by our will and efforts. While we yearn for the Spirit-filled
life, we are no longer in anguish over our failures. We can never
explain Jesus fully or be an adequate model of Jesus even for
one moment, but we know God can and does use us to reveal himself,
and our only duty is to be a faithful presence.
As we start another year in Nepal, we begin our new journey wanting
to be used by God so that His other children can gain “firsthand
knowledge” of Jesus through our strength and weakness. But
in God’s ministry it is just another day waiting for Simon
and Haejung to live in the joy of “firsthand knowledge”
of God and Jesus. May you also be blessed with the firsthand knowledge
and be used by God to pass on this knowledge of Jesus.
Simon & Haejung, on the first day of 2004
The 2004 Mission Yearbook for Prayer & Study, p.
203 |
