December 13, 2005
Friends,
This past weekend I attended the first annual Gansu International
Teacher’s Conference and celebrated my teaching partner’s
birthday. Two rather separate occasions, yet both taught me something
about myself that I had needed to be reminded of.
When I was first informed a week and a half before the conference
that the school wanted me to attend, I was reluctant to agree.
I said yes anyway, and later found out through my teaching partner
(who is always better at remembering to ask these sorts of questions)
that the conference would be an all-day affair, with registration
beginning at 8:30, and meetings at 9:00. It would not finish until
supper at 6:15 p.m. I wondered why on earth I had agreed to spend
an entire day indoors when all I had been craving for the past
few weeks was one entirely free day to just explore Lanzhou on
my own. However, I decided that since I had made a commitment,
I needed to stick to it—backing out would cause not only
me, but also my school, to lose face.
I showed up at the conference and was pleasantly surprised to
find not only the other two Lanzhou Amity teachers in attendance,
but also the Amity teachers from Wuwei and Zhangye, plus several
Peace Corps teachers I had met at the banquet at the start of
the term. Suddenly the day looked a lot more promising.
As the conference moved along, there were many different presentations,
and almost every single one made me laugh and taught me something
new. I had been reaching the end of my rope for coming up with
ideas to keep my students learning and having fun for the last
few weeks of classes. I had been begging God to send me just a
few ideas for what I could teach my students that they would find
relevant and interesting. I received the answer to my prayers
at that conference. Listening to the presentations, I regained
some of my confidence, thinking “That would work for my
class,” or “I can definitely use that for my first-year
students.” I also felt blessed that I was able to contribute
ideas that others might be able to use that had worked well in
either Kendra’s or my own classes. I felt blessed to have
the privilege of attending the conference and could not imagine
why I would have ever thought of skipping it.
The next day was my teaching partner Kendra’s birthday
party. I went over to our friend Sarah’s to celebrate with
Kendra and three of her Chinese friends. Gary and Andrew, the
two Amity teachers from Zhangye, came to the party, along with
Ruth, Sarah (of course), and the five of us. Sarah whipped up
a wonderful Western-style meal for us, and we all hung out and
chatted while waiting for Ruth to arrive with the birthday cake.
I had an epiphany while looking around at all the people gathered
to celebrate with Kendra. I realized that I was selfish. I have
spent so much of the past month trying to prepare lessons for
my classes, find material for English corners, and worrying about
how to pay for photocopies, envelopes, groceries that I haven’t
been very generous with what really matters: my time. I wanted
so badly to have things on my own time, to fit into my schedule,
that I had forgotten to just be there for my students and the
people who wanted to talk to me. If I had insisted on planning
out my weekend and sticking to that plan, I would never have attended
the conference. If I had been determined to plan my lessons instead
of attending Kendra’s party, I would have missed out on
a terrific evening to celebrate with my teaching partner and our
friends. By rigidly insisting on my own time schedule, I was cutting
out the very people I had traveled so far to meet, teach, and
learn from. Luke 8:11-15 speaks of the Word of God as a seed,
scattered along a footpath, rocky ground, among thorns, and on
good soil. I see myself quite clearly as one in danger of becoming
a seed among the thorns; my own worldly desires and concerns,
while often legitimate and understandable, blind me to the people
around me who are trying to connect with me. People with whom
I could share Christ’s light though actions of concern and
empathy. People who deeply desire to spend their time with me,
if I am not too selfish to share it.
In this Christmas season, when so much is focused on selfishly
buying presents to try to appease others (even here in China),
I know it is easy to forget that the most precious gift others
can receive is your time and attention. This year, may I treasure
the opportunity to give up my demands on my own schedule and be
open to the transforming experiences that others can share with
me. May all of you, whether home or away from home, have a blessed
Advent, a merry Christmas, and a happy New Year.
Rae
The 2006 Mission Yearbook for Prayer & Study, p. 246 |
