July 18, 2008

Dear Friends,

As I write this, I am sitting in my apartment watching darkness creep in. A thunderstorm has knocked out the electricity in our section of the city, providing me with some free time to reflect, since my computer won't work and I therefore can't type up documents, save photos, send e-mail, or do anything else online.

This power outage has come as a relief, to be honest. The end of this term was anything but restful for me. I was able to turn my books in on time, with the grades marked in the appropriate columns. That turned out to have been the start of the insanity. My phone and doorbell were ringing off the hook the last few weeks: former students called about doing make-up exams, students who I’d caught cheating stopped by to beg me to pass them anyway, colleagues called to say goodbye or invite me out to dinner, my new foreign affairs officer in Zhangye called about my paperwork, and students present and past stopped by to take photos with me. I eventually disconnected both my phone and my doorbell for 36 hours, just to regroup.

Once the students left, however, I still found myself swamped with errands. Packing up my flat in preparation for my move to Zhangye has been the biggest source of stress, although it might be more accurate to say that not packing some things has been the most stressful. The accumulation of DVDs, papers, and other odds and ends during my three years in Lanzhou has led to a major problem, namely, that I don't want to keep all of it, so whom can I give it to?  At the end of the term, the English Department was beginning to look like a warehouse, with a continuously growing pile of my old possessions on display for any colleague or student to take.  Students who stopped by my flat often found themselves leaving with a small pile of teaching materials, a vase, or something in between.

In addition to packing, I had several other items on my to-do list,  including visiting Zhangye for a day to get some paperwork done early, visiting Wuwei for a haircut, repairing my trombone and its case, cleaning my flat top to bottom in preparation for moving out, buying train tickets to various destinations, developing all the photos I'd saved on my computer, and my own personal goal of reading at least 10 of the books I'd inherited from other teachers in Gansu so I could either give them back or leave them behind.  Needless to say, in spite of the official end to the term, I was still running around like a madwoman, determined to finish all that I could before I had to leave.

This power outage, therefore, has served to set me back on a different track than the one I've been running on for the past month or so. Sure, it’s great that I’ve been so efficient, but have I really been spending my time on what’s important? My devotional times of the past few weeks have been harried, and it’s no wonder. I let them become that way. I was so focused on my short-term goals, I forgot about my eternal one.

The Apostle Paul said, “I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14).  My eternal goal is to press on toward Jesus, to become more like Him by serving others and loving God. I have been guilty of neglecting others in these past few weeks. I have concentrated on the things that need to be accomplished rather than the people whom God has sent me to love and with whom I will only be a short while longer.

Is my time better spent repairing my trombone, or sitting down for a chat with Mr. Wang, the retired physics professor who has become a great source of inspiration to me during my time here? Is my time better spent reading one of my books on the train to Wuwei, or talking with the woman next to me? Is God served by my rolling my eyes at the fourteenth photo request by a student in as many minutes, or am I called to be generous with the time that He has given me to serve at this college (even when that means smiling "big" when your cheeks hurt)?  In the countless stream of students, do I give thanks that God used me to touch them personally, or do I just get frustrated at having my quiet evening disrupted? Which goal is the most important to me, and how do I demonstrate its importance to the people around me?

I pray that the Lord will continue to use me to minister to my friends in Lanzhou during these next few weeks, and that I may be an example of His love to those around me. May all of you also recall your eternal goals, and find opportunities to press on toward them. 

God's blessings,

Rae

The 2008 Mission Yearbook for Prayer & Study, p. 99