Email: Stephen DeSanto

Greetings to you all.

I came to PC(USA)’s Young Adult Volunteer program for diverse reasons and with many hopes for the year. Granted, part of my motivation is that I wasn’t quite sure what else to do, and serving the Gulf Coast for a year sounded excellent. Another part of that motivation, however, was to explore options for my future and see what opportunities and working environments existed in the world. One of my wishes was to see the inner workings of a non-profit organization. The program encourages us to keep an eye open toward vocational discernment, and I try my best to do so. Over the past month and a half being in Slidell, I’ve developed a clearer sense of the mechanics of the work we do and the organization of which I’m part.

To be brutally honest, it’s something of a mess at times. There is a lot of conflict, both within our organization and also between our organization and our partners in mission. There are disagreements over what responsibilities belong to whom. There are disagreements over the manner in which some tasks should be completed. There are disagreements over the future of our organization in regards to the entwined futures of others we work with.

I was discouraged by the amount of conflict I’m exposed to as part of my daily work and life here. Enough sadness and stress lingers in the wake of those storms that we don’t need to generate more. At least my wish was granted. I’ve been exposed to the guts of the operation: messy, tense, disjointed, out of synch. I was dismayed and shocked that all of us united by one mission—to rebuild homes, to hand a homeowner the keys to their renewed house and move them from their FEMA trailers or temporary accommodations—could be so divided and antagonized. This from a mission of the church, a Presbyterian organization, no less! We have so great a calling here, with so great a need; how could we be so flawed as to let politics clutter the path? How could we be so human?

Ah, but that’s just it, isn’t it? We are all only human. All of us fall short. Let me be the first to say that I have no shortage of shortcomings myself. I could fill volumes with the errors I commit every month. But as a good friend used to remind me, “Pobody’s nerfect.” I was naive to assume that life would be vastly different in a church organization. After all, whole churches and denominations have split and reunited over differing visions and missions. Internal politics permeates everything, and all of us lose sight and fall short. All of us.

So I pray for the grace and patience to weather the storms above me and to be understanding when a colleague stumbles. And I pray that my co-workers and supervisors also find grace and patience with me when I fudge things up, as I have done already and inevitably will do again. My work here is one of revision: revising the Web site for better accessibility and appearance; revising brochures and newsletters with new information and fewer typos; revising calendars and plans as volunteer groups schedule and reschedule their trips; and revising myself as I make mistakes and grow as a person and as a Christian.

I also pray for a resolution to the greater conflicts, a resolution that maximizes the happiness of all involved, or at least minimizes the ill-feelings. It is not my place to get involved, and I don’t wish to be involved. Some of my coworkers share a feeling, a vaguely ominous sense, that there is some change in the wind. Much like the church, we here in Slidell are always being reformed; I can only hope that what comes to pass is what is best for this organization and, more importantly, best for the families who are still living in trailers or relatives’ homes.

I don’t know what the future holds for us on the large scale, but on the ground level it’s going to be slow around here for some time. We don’t have any volunteer groups scheduled to work with us until next year. I’ll continue my work with the Web site and other promotional materials. I suppose that the construction staff here will shift from teaching and supervising to building so that we can continue work on the houses, no matter how slow.

May the peace of Christ be with all who read these words.