While each caregiving situation is different, caregivers are likely to experience enormous stress as well as feelings of isolation as they care for a family member over a long period of time. It is quite common for individuals to become depressed, anxious or to develop physical ailments associated with the stress of caregiving.

If an individual is caring for someone who has had a prolonged incapacitating illness or serious memory loss, the caregiver may well begin grieving the loss of the person's "former self" as a spouse/partner, parent, sibling, friend before the physical loss of the person. The caregiver may begin anticipating the eventual complete loss, knowing what is coming.

For these individually experienced and not always expressed reasons (that means when asked what they need, caregivers often say, "nothing, I am fine"), caregivers must find practical ways to cope and to maintain. Many find that they feel selfish or guilty as they take a bit of time to consider what they need to continue functioning in a long-term or even short term yet very intense and demanding caregiving situation.

Caring kits are pre-assembled kits containing items a caregiver might want/ need and appreciate. They communicate many things, but importantly among them, that the person giving care is remembered, is cared about and has permission to take a bit of time for herself/himself.

Often caregivers do not have many opportunities to "pamper" themselves and may have very few positive pauses from their caregiving. A caring kit assembled and delivered by Presbyterian Women could make a crucial difference in someone's life. If your congregation is small, you are likely to know when someone is giving care. If it is large, people involved in health ministry, parish nursing, congregational care teams or whatever other group visits people who are "home-centered" can let you know when caring kits are needed — or even incorporate delivery of the kits into their ministry — if that is your desire.

Depending upon your choices, the container for the Caring Kit can vary from a woven basket, to an attractive old fashioned "hatbox" to a soft "gym" bag (very useful is some one is giving care to a person who is hospitalized or in an extended care facility.)

Following are suggestions for items that could be included in the kit:

(1) Caregiver's Journal: A blank journal allows caregivers to express thoughts and feelings caregiver's and to record important milestones in their caring journey. [Horizons has a wonderful journal with daily reading from the Psalms.]

(2) Assorted herbal teas work wonders to seep away a bit of stress.

(3) Tea tree oil and soft, thick socks: (Caregivers' feet often make many miles in any one-day). Giving permission for the caregiver to rub in a few drops of pure tea tree oil, slip on soft and soothing socks and put his/her feet up for at least 15 minutes is a wonderful gift.

(4) Bath salts and fragrance: A brief respite from the duties of caregiving can be had during a warm bath — particularly with pleasing scents.

(5) Handmade coconut oil and oatmeal soaps: A mild exfoliant combined with soothing coconut oil makes a soap to love.

(6) Postage stamps

(7) 60-minute long-distance phone card: indispensable when you need to make long-distance calls from hospitals and care centers. No additional charges appear on your phone bill.

(8) Pens and attractive writing paper.

(9) Reading material: an interesting collection of short stories (designed for brief periods of reading), a book of poetry or daily meditations.

(10) A CD of relaxing music.

(11) Special hand lotion.

(12) Refrigerator magnets with "friendly thoughts and sayings"

(13) Disposable cameras or picture frames. So that positive memorable moments and significant visits can be preserved.

(14) If you know the person giving care, add any other individual items you know might have special meaning.

Use your imagination. What would make you feel pampered (and is relatively small and portable) and is likely to be enjoyed by people with a number of different tastes? You might do different types of caring kits depending on the caregiver. These suggestions are more directed toward women as care givers, however a recent Metlife study revealed that greater numbers of men are now giving care. Or, you might want to develop a series of kits in order to bring something fresh and new periodically to a caregiver in a long-term caregiving situation.

It is also important to remember that while the caring kit, itself, is very important, the caring message delivered by and through the kit is equally important. A personal note your PW Circle members or someone who is particularly close to the caregiver is important. Though these kits are designed to be made ahead and used when needed, a small fresh flower arrangement or special food item may be added as the kit is being delivered.