Helping Children Cope with Disaster*

Disasters may strike quickly and without warning. These events can be frightening for adults, but they are traumatic for children.

Children and their response to disaster
Children depend on daily routines: They wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, play with friends. When emergencies or disasters interrupt this routine, children may become anxious.

In a disaster, they will look to adults for help. How adults react to an emergency gives them clues on how to act. If one react with alarm, a child may become more scared. They see adult's fear as proof that the danger is real.

Children's fears also may stem from their imagination, and adults should take these feelings seriously. When talking with your child, be sure to present a realistic picture that is both honest and manageable.

Feelings of fear are healthy and natural for adults and children. When danger has passed, concentrate on the child's emotional needs by asking the child to tell what is uppermost in his or her mind. Having children participate in the family's recovery activities will help them feel that their life will return to "normal." How adults or parents response during this time may have a lasting impact.

Be aware that after a disaster, children are most afraid that:

• the event will happen again.
• someone will be injured or killed.
• they will be separated from the family.
• they will be left alone.

Give reassurance and physical comfort.
Immediately after the disaster, try to reduce your child's fear and anxiety. Physically holding children brings comfort and a sense of security. Children need extra hugs, smiles and hand-holding. If possible, keep the family (including pets) together. Reassure them that they are safe and that there is someone there to take care of them. Hearing a parent or adult say, "I will take care of you," makes children feel safe. Young children have great faith in adults' powers and are responsive to adult reassurances. Model and demonstrate coping skills, because children will imitate adults in reacting to the situation.

Provide structure.
Children need to find consistency and security in their day, especially when the rest of their life is unpredictable. Provide a framework that will be the same from day to day. Emphasize familiar routines at playtime, clean-up, naptime, meals and bedtime. Make sure children are getting appropriate sleep, exercise and nutrition. Play soothing music and model moving slowly and using a quiet voice. Children may have a difficult time accepting routines and other limits, but persevere by being firm and supportive. Make decisions for children when they cannot cope with choice.

Welcome children's talking about the disaster.
Children regain a sense of control by talking about things that bother them, and talking with a supportive adult can help them clarify their feelings. At the same time, children should not be pressured to talk; they may need time to absorb these experiences before discussing them. To help children feel comfortable, parents and other adults can share their own feelings of fear and anxiety, but they should always do so in a calm, reassuring way. For example, you might say, "I was frightened when I saw the explosions, but I knew there were people who were ready to help out." What children need most is to feel that the situation is under control.

Focus on experiences that help children release tension.
Calmly and firmly explain the situation. As best as you can, tell children what you know about the disaster. Explain what will happen next. For example, say, "Tonight, we will all stay together in the shelter." Get down to the child's eye level and talk to them.

Encourage children to talk. Let children talk about the disaster and ask questions as much as they want. Encourage children to describe what they're feeling. Listen to what they say. If possible, include the entire family in the discussion.

Include children in recovery activities. Give children chores that are their responsibility This will help children feel they are part of the recovery. Having a task will help them understand that everything will be all right.

Provide opportunities for children to be children.
Use what is available to give children time for the relaxing, therapeutic experience of playing with sand, water, clay, etc.

Provide plenty of time and opportunity for children to work out their concerns and feelings through dramatic play. Create props that children can use to pretend they are firefighters, doctors, rescue workers or other helpers. In dramatic play, children can pretend that they are big and strong to gain control over their trauma and to overcome feelings of helplessness. Spend more time in settings that give children opportunities for physical activity and that provide an emotional release.

Model peaceful resolution to conflict.
Peaceful resolution to conflict is one way to give children a stronger sense of power and control, especially critical in the wake of a disaster, which leaves them feeling powerless. Because children who have experienced the emotional trauma and violence of disaster often behave aggressively, they need to see alternatives to using violence to solve problems.

Maintain perspective.
As we learn more about the individuals who are responsible for these tragic events, adults must help children avoid making inappropriate assumptions and using labels about groups of people based on their race, ethnicity, religious background or national origin.

Watch for changes in behavior.
Mental health professionals suggest that, children, like adults, may exhibit symptoms of stress following a disaster. For preschoolers, such symptoms may include thumb-sucking, bedwetting, clinging, changes in sleep or eating patterns, and isolation from other children. Older children may be irritable or aggressive and display poor concentration, among other changes in their behavior. Experts also suggest that it is natural for children to display behavioral changes as they emotionally process their anxiety and fear.

You can help children cope by understanding what causes their anxieties and fears. Reassure them with firmness and love. Your children will realize that life will eventually return to normal. If a child does not respond to the above suggestions, seek help from a mental health specialist or a member of the clergy.

*Adapted from information developed by The Federal Emergency Management Agency's Family Protection Program in cooperation with the American Red Cross' Community Disaster Education Program and the National Association for the Education of Young Children.