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05042
January 25, 2005
Around and around in circles
Domestic violence simulation reveals problems victims face
by Jerry L. Van Marter
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TUCSON — Quietly, in pairs — some holding one or more dolls — the 30 or so women begin moving about the small meeting room. They pause at a chair labeled “clergy,” pick up a color-coded card and read it, then move on to another chair and read another card.
Before long, as the women move from chair to chair, the quiet conversations become more animated and are frequently punctuated by angry outbursts. And by the end of the one-hour simulation game, “In Her Shoes,” most of the participants are ranting in frustration.
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In her shoes participants
Photos by Jerry L. Van Marter |
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Welcome to the world of battered women — victims of domestic violence — and the bewildering maze they must navigate to access the resources they need in order to survive.
And in the game, as in real life, some don’t survive. One of the “stations” in the simulation is labeled “Funeral Home” — a clear signal that the player has died as a result of the choices she has made.
Developed in Washington State, “In Her Shoes” has become an extremely effective tool for educating pastors, social workers, police, government officials and those interested in combating domestic violence about the gauntlet faced by women seeking to escape abusive relationships.
The simulation was brought to the Presbyterian Health, Education and Welfare Association (PHEWA)’s biennial social justice and ministries conference Jan. 13–16 here by the Presbyterians Against Domestic Violence Network (PADVN). It is also endorsed by the Office of Women’s Advocacy in Louisville, which for the first time partnered with PHEWA on the conference.
“People aren’t going to believe it unless and until they walk down the road,” says Tyra Lindquist of the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, which helped develop “In Her Shoes” six years ago. “This simulation is really good because people like experiential things. The stories in this simulation are compelling and people quickly get immersed in them.”
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In her shoes participants |
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There are 17 “stations” in the simulation — including such topics as “court,” “mental health,” “child protective services,” “housing,” “medical,” “shelter,” “job” and “support group.” Each pair of participants picks a real-life scenario and visits the 17 stations. At each station choices are offered, which, of course, impact the range of choices available at subsequent stations. |
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“Ideally, this game would be played over the entire hotel, including some impossible-to-find nooks and crannies,” says the Rev. Bonnie Ortho, an upstate New York pastor who is PADVN co-moderator along with Sandy Thompson-Royer. “That way, participants would get totally lost even trying to find some of the stations, which is the way it is for women in the real world.”
Also like real life, a few participants conclude the simulation by successfully escaping the violence. Most do not. And some die, their choices leading them inexorably to the station labeled “Funeral Home.”
Asked how they felt at the end of the simulation, participants variously said: “tired,” “helpless,” “ashamed,” “voiceless,” “powerless,” “frustrated,” “gullible,” “guilty,” “confused” and “angry.” One participant asked wearily, “Is there no end to it?” Another agreed, saying, “I felt like I was going around and around in circles.”
That’s precisely the reason why domestic violence is so prevalent and why “In Her Shoes” is such an effective teaching and training tool, Ortho says. “In the simulation there are some choices you want to make but can’t,” she says. “The simulation gets people in different professional fields to think about how, despite people’s best intentions, systems break down.”
Helping domestic violence–related professionals understand the complexity for victims of abuse of trying to deal with multiple systems is critical to helping women (and some men) out of the cycle of domestic violence. “Blaming and judging are the worst,” says the Rev. Kevin Frederick, a pastor in Black Mountain, NC, and PADVN member. “Statistics show that, for a variety of reasons, it takes an average of seven incidents of domestic violence for a woman to figure a way out. That’s simply intolerable. We have to do better.”
Workshop participants were introduced to a new PC(USA) resource on domestic violence, “Anguished Hearts,” which addresses domestic violence as a faith issue. The seven-session study — designed for church school classes, study and youth groups, and retreats — builds on the 2001 General Assembly’s policy statement “Turn Mourning Into Dancing!” It is available for $8 from Presbyterian Distribution Service — order by phone , 800-524-2612, or on the Web at www.pcusa.org/family/resources.htm.
Ortho says PAVN is offering training that includes use of “In Her Shoes” to synods and presbyteries. For more information, visit the PADVN Web site at www.pcusa.org/phewa/padvn.
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