05300
June 6, 2005

‘It isn’t happening in my church’

Many pastors are in denial about domestic abuse, family violence

by Alexa Smith

LOUISVILLE — Too few pastors take advantage of opportunities to learn about domestic violence, according to a relatively new advocacy network, Presbyterians Against Domestic Violence (PADVN).

     The denomination’s 2001 policy statement, Turning Mourning into Dancing (a reference to Psalm 30:11-12), calls for sweeping strategies to help ministers understand and deal with domestic violence, but when training is offered, few sign up.

     “We go out and offer a training and nobody comes,” said the Rev. Bonnie Orth, pastor of the Mayfield Central Presbyterian Church in upstate New York, PADVN’s moderator. “It makes people uncomfortable. Or, they just think, ‘It isn’t happening in my church.’”

     Which, she adds, is flat-out wrong.

     “I’d say that in every church, there is at least one victim, probably one perpetrator and at least one observer who are actively watching violence but don’t know what to say or do. I tell pastors all the time, ‘If you talk about it, they will come. If you’re going to preach about it, be ready.’ People will come forward immediately.”

     The Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) policy recommends:

• that all candidates for ministry, commissioned lay pastors and church educators be trained in dealing with domestic violence issues;
  
  
• that presbytery committees on ministry be encouraged to develop and oversee regular, systematic pastoral reviews, so that any clergy who are victims or perpetrators can be identified and helped;
  
  
• that congregations be urged to offer workshops on domestic violence, using denominational resources such as Striking Terror No More and Anguished Hearts: A Study Guide to Accompany ‘Turn Mourning into Dancing’;
  
  
• that middle governing bodies develop guides to help clergy and staff in prevention and response to domestic violence; and,
  
  
• that education and training be required for clergy, commissioned lay pastors and church educators in the causes and symptoms of abuse, appropriate methods of intervention and recognition of professional limitations.
  

     But none of that is mandatory. So the network — which is composed largely of volunteers and operates on a shoestring budget — is making its case at major denominational conferences.

     PADVN has scheduled its next biennial meeting for Sept. 15-18 in San Francisco. Its volunteers will run a training event for seminarians at San Francisco Theological Seminary and conduct a two-hour session during a Redwoods Presbytery meeting.

     “As high as the statistics are, we should be ... anxious about what’s happening (with domestic violence),” said Nancy Troy, the director of the denomination’s social welfare network, the Presbyterian Health, Education and Welfare Association (PHEWA). “Is there some danger in approaching these issues? Sure. But what’s the danger in not doing so?”

     The Rev. Kevin Frederick, the pastor of the Black Mountain Presbyterian Church near Asheville, NC, asked himself that question nearly 10 years ago, when his wife was pregnant with their first child. He said he saw coverage of domestic abuse and family violence issues in his local newspaper in East Tennessee and thought: “How the hell do people do this?’

     “And I found myself praying, ‘Oh God, I feel strongly about this. … If this is something you want me to do, open up the doors.”

     Doors opened.

     The Black Mountain parish is now a denominational model for teaching and training its members — including the children, in age-appropriate ways — about domestic violence, elder abuse, date rape and child abuse, using resources developed by the FaithTrust Institute in Seattle,WA, whose Web address is www.faithtrustinstitute.org.    

     The congregation’s session is studying how best to minister to abused kids housed at the Presbyterian Home for Children. The home’s 30-plus residents are invited to weekly worship.

     The push for a deepened understanding came when Frederick preached a topical sermon last year during “Domestic Violence Awareness Month,” which is observed every October. “The first time I raised the issue in a prayer and a sermon, five people came forward, saying, ‘I’m a victim. Or somebody in my family is.’

     “Speaking from the pulpit opened up the whole realm: Women came forward.”

     That was part of the message Frederick was ready to deliver on June 2 at a Montreat conference — but only two people showed up at his workshop: One seminarian, and an already-knowledgeable pastor looking for resources.

     “This is a very real situation, and every church is affected by it in some way,” Frederick said. “But, culturally, there’s a code of silence about domestic violence.”

            Orth said PADVN is weighing how to honor the memory of the Rev. Cheryl Rosenberg Malcolmson, a Presbyterian clergywoman who was murdered in early May by her spouse, who then killed himself.  (See related story, “Minister’s killing rocks Florida community.”)

     She is now pitching the denomination’s newest resource, Anguished Hearts, to any pastor who’ll listen. It has case studies, Bible reflections, statistical data, a local resource checklist and national hotline numbers. (Contact the PHEWA Office at 888-728-7228 or visit its Web site, www.pcusa.org/phewa/padvn.)

     “Pastors say to me, ‘This isn’t a problem in my church.’ And I say to them, ‘Learn about it. Preach about it. You will be amazed,’” said Orth, adding, “When I preach, people still self-disclose.”

     That’s why Troy is pushing for more education.