Presbyterian Disaster Assistance has been a primary supporter of Community Connection For Military Families (CCMF), a community and faith-based ecumenical outreach to active duty military, reservists and National Guard families living near the installations in the South Puget Sound in the Pacific Northwest. CCMF, which was formed during the Gulf War, helps congregations understand and respond to the special issues of military families in their churches and local area and operates as a partnership with local congregations, community and military service providers.

Background on military families

As our hearts are touched with a desire to support our troops, it is helpful to understand some of the challenges facing our military here at home. Our military members are in volunteer service, and must follow orders, which include going wherever they are sent. Most of them are young, married with small children, and probably want peace more than we do. Being in the line of fire, whether one is married or single, is a terrifying place to be, no matter how courageously one thinks or acts.

If you see people in uniform, take the time to let them know that you are thankful for their contribution to the country. They will probably respond with surprise because most have never been thanked for their service to America. We need to say it often.

It is completely appropriate to ask if a family has a deployed member, but do not ask for any specifics, especially of the children. While we are curious about current events, it is never a good thing ask them where and when they will be deployed if they are waiting for orders. The military members and their families have been explicitly instructed not to share details of their deployments in order to protect crucial information that could fall into the wrong hands or cause speculation and rumors. Military children are extremely concerned and very often worried about their deployed parents; they also have been told that they are not to speak about their parent's deployment or location. They would welcome positive thoughts and interest in their lives and words of support for their parents; don't create conflict for them by asking for information they cannot provide.

Suggestions for congregations:

1. Pray for ways to support the military and their families in your congregation and community. Remember them daily in prayer.
2. Ask those you know if they have friends or family for whom they want you to pray. This is a time of renewing relationships and of praying for each other and our world. Ask God to bring military members and their families to your church. Since most are away from their home of origin, many may not have established a place to worship. During times of deep stress and concern for the lives of loved ones, people often seek spiritual comfort and may not have yet made the step because of shyness. Invite them.
3. Consider holding a prayer service as a community event with other congregations in your area and publicize it through your bulletins, newspapers and other networks. Provide childcare for the little ones as part of the evening.
4. Discover how many congregants are military members or have families or friends in the military. Ask them to obtain a photo of the individual or the military family, and then - on a sheet of colored 8" x 11" paper — list their names, mailing address and email address. Include information about their branch of service and any personal information they may want to share, such as hobbies, favorite movies or books, favorite things to do. Use this information to create a bulletin board display. Décor could include patriotic colors and symbols: flags, stars and stripes, eagles, etc.
5. Encourage everyone to write to the military members you have identified. They want and need to receive mail, so encourage everyone to correspond with them, young children as well as teens and adults. Adopt their entire unit and send cards, letters or email to all of them. Get to know them; thank them for their service to the country and let them know that you think of them, and pray for their safety. Ask them for pictures of them at work to add to your bulletin board. Post the letters, emails and cards you receive for everyone to read.
6. Have the grade school and youth of your congregation adopt a family of home-schooled military kids and correspond with them. Contact your local National Guard or Reserve office for assistance in locating families.
7. Send care packages. Since they have no storage room available, send only small consumables that are contained in plastic: chips, candy, gum, cookies, juices, packages of special coffee or tea, AA batteries, lip balm, soap, shampoo, toothbrushes and toothpaste, small board or handheld electronic games, playing cards, magazines or paperback books. Use sections of recent newspapers for packing, so they can read the local news, sports or comics. Do not send perishable items or anything large that will need storage. Include pictures of you, your family, church, or local places of interest.
8. Host a potluck and invite your local military families to be your guests; include childcare for the little ones as part of the evening. Consider holding the potluck as a community event with other congregations and publicize it through various networks as an evening of appreciation. Perhaps include music, singing and skits as entertainment from the different age groups of the congregation.
9. Plan a movie and game night with popcorn and other refreshments; include childcare for the little ones as part of the evening. Have separate rooms set aside for the various ages or events with volunteers to lead the festivities.
10. Adopt a military family, service member or unit. Two or three families within a congregation could commit to befriending and nurturing a military family of a deployed member for a year, providing friendship and encouragement. Long separations are very painful and with a war, are upsetting and frightening for the entire family, especially little ones. Share holiday events, meals and family outings with them. Help with their yards or household emergencies are very welcome. With so many fathers deployed, military kids treasure time with a 'dad' even if he belongs to someone else. Someone to cheer them at a sporting event or to play catch with them is a major win.
11. Offer to watch the children so the moms can have a break for some time to get their hair done, go to a movie or even shopping without the kids. Or you could take the kids to a movie, sporting event or park so that the moms could just sleep for a couple hours without interruption, read a book or do some house work. This is a treat that will be treasured.
12. Offer to deliver dinner to their homes, so they can have a break. If they protest, because they do not want to inconvenience you, let them know you are bringing the food to them, and ask what type of food they prefer. Let them know that it is important for you to do this.
13. Begin a Time-Out Group for your neighborhood military spouses. Establish a weekly two — hour block of time to meet at your church. Two rooms are necessary, one for adults and one for childcare. During deployments, many spouses often have no place to go for personal support and a break from caring for their children. Groups that allow open discussion of feelings, issues, concerns and the military life are essential. The ability to meet together in a safe, warm environment - without an agenda - is vitally important to many spouses' well being in maintaining their courage and energy during times of separation. Provide coffee, tea and munchies and free childcare.
14. Invite retired military congregants to create a Military Affairs Committee. They could use the wonderful skills they learned from their military experience to encourage others in the church with your outreach. Perhaps they could teach various skills classes such as sewing, knitting, cooking, budgeting or car maintenance and invite the military families in your area to attend. Consider holding the classes as community events with other congregations and publicize it through various networks. Include childcare for the little ones as part of the classes.
15. If you are near a military installation, contact the Family Services Manager and let that person know that your congregation is available to assist them in any voluntary needs they may have.
16. Contact the chaplains stationed at the local installation to visit, perhaps to share in a service through pulpit supply or other means. Invite a chaplain to your ministerial association to speak; they are terrific people!

If you have any questions, please contact Community Connection For Military Families for assistance or information: Sherrill Hendrick, Director - Phone: (253) 475-5535 - email