Elena

September 10,1993

School had only been open for a week and already it is feeling like a bad dream to Elena Sandez. "I am living in a trailer park in the mud. I am going to school in a trailer park in the mud. I am sick and tired of the mud. I am tired of being crowded in my house. I hate sharing a room with my little sister, Sam. She is so annoying! And these clothes are so dumb." Elena is complaining to her girl friend, Monica. "The worst thing is that I hardly ever get to see you anymore."

"I know," Monica says. "We used to live down the street from each other, but nows the street is not even there. I don't like living where I have to live now either. I don't know anybody out there and the house isn't even finished yet. What a drag!"

Well at least you have a nice house to live in," Elena says sadly. "My dad lost his job downtown at the hardware store because of the flood. I guess we'll never ever have a house of our own again. And my mom's sick all the time with those headaches. I am really scared she has a tumor or something."

"Come on lets's go over to the Sub Shop and do our math. I'll buy you a soft drink." Monica starts across the street in front of the field where several modular units are set up as classrooms. A passing truck splashes mud on her shoes and skirt. "Jumping back suddenly, Monica mutters, "Will this ever end?" I get so depressed. Sometimes when I can't stand these rotten feelings anymore, I just want to run away."

Side by side, they dash across the road to the new plaza that is being constructed there. "Don't leave me behind." Elena tells Monica. "You are my only friend in the whole world. My parents don't care. Sam doesn't care. She is just a little brat. Dad is always taking care of Joey or Mom. And I have to do all the laundry and housework. Oh, I am so mad I could cry! Why did this have to happen to my family?"

Questions for discussion:

• What changes have happened in the lives of Elena and Monica because of the floods?
• How do you think Elena is feeling about her family? What would help her feel better?
• What things are causing stress for Elena?

What is Stress?

Stress is a unique and personal response of our bodies and minds to meet the demands that certain situations give to us. Dangerous or frightening situations trigger an instinctive "fight or flight" response that increases blood pressure, heart rate, respiration, and blood flow to muscles. Mentally, we focus our attention and intellect on the situation.

Biologically, these reactions are designed to help people prepare for a physical conflict or an escape from one. In our normal day-to-day activities, these responses serve to direct our mental and physical resources to a particularly difficult or trying situation, and the result is often positive. they help us do our best work at the crucial moment on the football field, on stage, or in a classroom.

Sometimes, though, the stress-causing situation last longer than our ability to cope with them, as in the case of loss and pain caused by an accident, death, or other disaster. When this happens, we experience feelings of distress, or negative stress. If the negative stress is left undamaged, it can cause health and relationship problems and make it harder to focus on school work or other tasks. We can even become physically sick as the body's ability to fight off disease becomes weakened by prolonged stress.

What Should I Do If I'm Feeling Like This?

Talk with an adult that you trust who will listen - a parent, a pastor, guidance counselor, youth leader, teacher, or family doctor. Find out from your doctor whether there is any physical cause for your symptoms. With some help, you can avoid the more serious consequences of prolonged street. Rest, a change of diet, counseling, or medical attention can make a difference in how you are feeling.

How Do I Know If I'm Experiencing Negative Stress?

Stress affects everyone differently. What might indicate negative street in you might not affect your friend the same way. However, if you find yourself in a prolonged stressful situation, there are warning signs to look for:

• tiredness, even when you have gotten enough sleep.
  
• changes in eating or sleeping habits
  
• inability to concentrate
  
• moodiness, frequent tears
  
• irritability; flashes of anger
  
• headaches, stomach aches, other aches and pains
  
• feeling of depression, fearfulness or helplessness

What are some stressors for human beings?

• Injury
  
• Threats to one's well being
  
• Change of location
  
• Pain
  
• Loss of what is familiar and secure

What is Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?

Sometimes, immediately following a disaster, people are feeling so relieved to have escaped or are so busy just recovering from injuries or cleaning up the mess they may not seem to be experiencing emotional distress.

Then, sometimes weeks or months later, they may experience painful symptoms related to their traumatic experience. This is called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Because some time may have passed since the disaster, the person may feel confused and have trouble figuring out why she/he feels so bad.

Adolescents with PTSD may show the following symptoms:

• poor impulse control
  
• rebelliousness
  
• suicidal behavior
  
• truancy
  
• delinquency
  
• bad judgment
  
• drug abuse
  
• sexual indiscretion
  
• relationship problems
  
• depression
  
• eating disorders
  
• over-achievement and burn-out
  
• nightmares

Stressors for Teenagers

Change and Loss

• Move to a new home or school
  
• Change in family situation such as
  
• separation
  
• divorce
  
• sibling leaving home
  
• new baby in family
  
• Loss of special possession or pets
  
• Loss of home due to disaster or eviction

Illness or Death

• Physical illness or injury
  
• Long -term or permanent disability
  
• Illness or death of a family member
  
• Illness or death of a friend

Beginnings and Endings

• Beginning a new relationship
  
• Ending of a relationship
  
• Starting a new job
  
• Getting fired or layed off from a job
  
• Beginning of a new school year
  
• Graduation
  
• Getting married
  
• Becoming a parent

Fear and Trauma

Frightening experiences like disasters, crimes or violent events in your home, school, or community, or seen on TV.

Coping Responses for Teenagers

Support

• Talking it out with some one you can trust
• Having friends and a safe place for emotional comfort and rest
  
• Feeling OK about whatever you are feeling and are going through

Understanding

• Reducing fear by getting the facts and finding out what is real
  
• Understanding the normal human reactions to stress and change and the grief process

Taking Control

• Discovering one's own strength and flexibility
  
• Being part of the solution and recovery
  
• Learning new skills through the challenges of new situations

Taking Care of Yourself

• Participating in physical excersise and activity
  
• eating healthy foods
  
• Getting rest
  
• Avoiding self-medicating (drugs and alcohol)
  
• Getting necessary medical care

Time

• Knowing that adjusting to change and healing from physical or emotional hurt takes time and patience
  
• Trusting that time itself is part of the healing process

Faith

• Knowing that God loves and cares for us even in the midst of trouble
  
• Finding a faith community that prays for us and provides comfort and protection
  
• Discovering words of comfort in scripture and from Christian friends

1. List some words that describe how people feel of react under intense stress.

2. Write down some kinds of pressure/stress that can be useful to human beings.

3. Write down some kinds of pressure/stress that can be harmful to human beings.

4. Write down some situation you experience or pressures you feel that cause you negative stress.

5. Check some of the things you do when you are feeling distress (uncomfortable stress).

• sleep
• run
• work out
• use alcohol
• drugs
  
• watch TV talk with a friend
• stay up too late
  
• eat junk food
• pick fights
• skip school
  
• play music
• cry a lot
• other

6. Check coping skills that you would like to practice to help you handle stress differently.

• find someone to talk to who will take me seriously
  
• pursue healthy physical activities
  
• learn how to help my friends
  
• learn how to relax and stop worrying so much
  
• learn how to blow off anger without hurting anybody
  
• learn how to manage my time better
  
• others

The Art of Listening

Facing

• I show interest in you.
  
• I am willing to take the time to be with you.
  
• I stop what I am doing.
  
• I sit down with you.
  
• I make a quiet and private place.
  
• I turn and face you.
  
• I move close enough to let you know I care but do not crowd you.
  
• What to say: "I am here to be with you." "I want to hear what you have to say."

Focusing

• I pay attention to what you are saying and don not interrupt with my own agenda.
  
• I allow you to do most of the talking.
  
• I lean toward you or nod to let you know that I am listening.
  
• What to say: "Yes, it's OK" "I think I know what you mean." "I would like to hear more." "Then what happened?"

Feeling

• What ever you are feeling is OK with me.
  
• I care about your story even when it is hard for me to hear it.
  
• I am not frightened by your tears or anger.
  
• What to say" "I see you have strong feeling about..." "That hurts a lot doesn't it?" "I would cry, too." "It must be hard to talk about this."

Affirming

• You are important, and your story is important.
  
• You are a child of God.
  
• I respect you.
  
• I am not in a hurry to go away.
  
• What to say: "Thank you for telling me your story." "What do you think you can do now?" "I care about you and God cares about you." "Perhaps you have some ideas about how I can help you."