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Using the lectionary to address issues of abuse in relationships
October, 2009, Domestic Violence Awareness Month
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By the Rev. Nancy K. Troy
During October, congregants will be hearing a great deal about abuse since it is a recognized national month of awareness. It is a good time to incorporate these issues into sermons or into other pieces during the worship service — an illustration, prayer of confession, pastoral prayer, etc. Even a mention of intimate violence will send the message to victims that they are not alone and that this is a place to find safety and healing. Both victims and perpetrators of violence need to hear words that confront the violence and that both can find healing in their place of worship.
The following scriptures, with some suggestions for introducing intimate violence and healthy relationships, are part of the lectionary readings for October.
October 4 - 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time
Mark 10: 2-16
In the Gospel reading, we are confronted by a very difficult text on divorce. If this text is seen out of its cultural context, the preacher will add a stumbling block to some victims, who for the sake of their safety and the safety of their children, must leave a violent relationship. The covenant of marriage is broken by violence, not divorce. During biblical times, neither women nor children had rights. If a man divorced his wife, she was left without any security or legal recourse. The prohibition of divorce and remarriage will need to be interpreted in a pastoral way since so many people sitting in the pews have struggled, are struggling or will struggle with this issue. By not avoiding this scripture, and by exegeting the passage skillfully, the preacher can deliver pastoral care and show congregants how to interpret scripture using historical critical methodology. See additional suggestions following the lectionary overviews.
October 11 – 28th Sunday in Ordinary Time
Psalm 22: 1-15
This is probably the best known Psalm of lament. Most will recognize the plea, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” and can think of a time in their lives or the lives of their community when they have experienced the silence of God. The lament is spoken by a person who is faithful (verses 3, 9, 10), but who does not see God’s intervention into their situation. The preacher might list a number of situations where congregants might have felt the utter absence of God, including abuse in any form. In walking with victims of violence, they will often talk about the silence or absence of God, but affirm their faith and trust in God, exactly like the psalmist. A caution here is making sure that listeners do not leave with the unhelpful idea that suffering is their “cross to bear.”
October 18 – 29th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Presbyterian Sunday Emphasis)
Mark 10: 35-45
Poor James and John, the sons of Zebedee … what where they thinking? Here we have the brothers jockeying to be in the place of power, prime examples of Mark’s portrayal of the disciples just not getting it! Jesus turns that request into his radical vision of mutuality and servanthood. While listeners may judge these two harshly, particularly in view of what Jesus has in front of him as he enters Jerusalem, we can all confess to coveting the best, most powerful place at some time in our lives. There’s something pretty heady about having power and control. One of the best examples of the misuse of power and control is how the perpetrator of abuse views his or her relationship with a partner. The tactics used to maintain control over another are anything but Jesus’ vision of servanthood that should define all our relationships. See the Power and Control Wheel. The two “wheels” included in this packet, the Teen Power and Control Wheel and the Equality Wheel, can be very helpful in making references to dating violence and/or healthy teen relationships.
October 25th – 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time
Mark 10: 46-52
In this very short story of Jesus’ encounter with Bartimaeus, whom we are told is “a blind beggar,” we see once again how Jesus listened to the voice of the most vulnerable. Those around the man tried their best to silence him, but Jesus stopped, engaged the man in conversation and healed the man of his blindness. This man was an outsider as many victims feel themselves to be. Often they sit in our pews, silent and afraid to speak out about what they are experiencing from the person they thought loved them. Others may break the silence and share their pain but are not believed and like Bartimaeus are sternly ordered to be quiet. Are we, like the crowd trying to stop Bartimaeus, afraid or unable to bear the shouts of pain? Do we urge the victim to keep quiet … it can’t be happening … you must be doing something … it’s a private matter? Who are we in the story? Are we the bystanders? Are we willing to call to the outsider as Jesus did over and over along the way? What is it like to be the outsider?
As You Prepare the Sermon
- Remember that as you speak openly about abusive situations, there are those sitting in your pews who have experienced, are experiencing or who have a personal connection with someone who is being abused. You might be surprised at how young boys and girls report violence in their relationships. It is always good to have someone in the back of the sanctuary who can slip out and check with someone if they leave. “Are you OK?” “May I help?” These questions are not obtrusive and can often begin a process of healing.
- Teens new at negotiating dating relationships often are flattered by the very behaviors that their partner uses to control them, behaviors such as isolating them from friends, acting jealously or threatening to hurt themselves if the partner decides to end the relationship.
- It may be very uncomfortable to do an entire sermon on abuse. Start slowly by incorporating language into prayers, making announcements about activities during the October Domestic Violence Awareness Month, using a bulletin insert or asking someone from a community organization to do a minute for mission. Any reference will be noticed by those who need to hear a healing word from their congregation.
- Familiarize yourself with the dynamics of abuse and the Dos and Don’ts of responding to victims and perpetrators. Begin by going to the Presbyterians Against Domestic Violence Network’s Web site. Your local crisis center will offer educational events, and will be happy to see a clergy person supportive of their efforts.
- As you prepare your sermon, see the scripture through the lens of a person who is abused. Examine carefully the context of the reading and challenge those sections that might be misinterpreted to validate violence, child abuse or the subordination of women.
- Theology can be a road block or a resource. Pay particular attention to how suffering and forgiveness are interpreted.
- There are many resources that can help. The PADVN Web site has some sample sermons that can give you ideas of how others have preached about abuse. The new commentary, Feasting on the Word (Westminster John Knox Press, Louisville, Kentucky) is an excellent resource that looks at each lectionary reading through four lenses: theological, pastoral, exegetical and homiletical.
- The Rev. Dr. Marie Fortune, FaithTrust institute founder and senior analyst, reminds preachers to keep in mind the three audiences who will be listening to their sermon: (1) victims/survivors, (2) perpetrators and (3) bystanders. Ask yourself, “What will that young girl who got shoved aside on last night’s date hear in your words?” “Will that young man rethink his actions because of something he hears today?” “Will that best friend be willing to challenge what she/he hears about a date that went wrong?”
- Even though you are being urged to use October to lift these issues up, “one shot” sermons about any topic seldom raise the level of awareness to change minds and behaviors. Help your congregation make a long-term plan for becoming a safe sanctuary, a place where truth is spoken and where troubled relationships are transformed.
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