Sexting, Texting and Cell Phones — A Bigger Problem Than We Think
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By the Rev. Bonnie M. Orth
As I was preparing to take my youth group on their annual mission trip, I was reading some of the “rules” that we would obey. One of the major rules reads, “No cell phones will be used during our mission trip, except during travel to and from our destination and one hour per evening, after activities, to call home.” You would have thought that I had just sentenced these 12 young disciples to life in prison in solitary confinement. I only have to watch my own two teenagers who never have a hand that does not hold a cell phone or idle fingers that are not texting to understand how important the cell phone has become for youth in today’s society. However, teens are not just using cell phones to make voice calls. The majority of teens are texting and there are many who are doing a relatively new phenomenon, sexting.
According to Wikipedia, text messaging, or texting is a colloquial term referring to the “exchange of brief written messages between mobile phones, over cellular networks.” There are more than 1,000 abbreviations used in texting; yes, I printed them out to try to better understand communicating with my teens. Check them out so that you know what they mean.
Sexting is defined as: “the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photos electronically, primarily between cell phones.” In a study called, “Sex and Tech” done by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and Cosmo Girl, statistics are presented that should cause all parents to stop and take notice. The study found that at least one in five teens (22 percent of girls and 18 percent of boys) say they have electronically sent nude or seminude images of themselves. And 39 percent of teens have sent sexually suggestive text messages or emails to someone. The study also found that what teens are doing electronically also affects what they do face-to-face, offline. More than a third (38 percent) of teens say that exchanging sexy content makes dating or hooking up more likely, and nearly one third of teens (29 percent) believe those exchanging sexy content are “expected” to date or hook up.
Why are teen girls so eager to pose for scandalous photos? To please guys. An overwhelming 85 percent of teen girls say that sending sexy photos or messages keeps a guy’s attention. Three-fourths of girls aged 13 to 16 (76 percent) say that sending sexy images is a “sexy present” for a boyfriend. Two thirds of teen girls (66 percent) who have sent sexually suggestive content say that they did it to be “fun or flirtatious.” The study continued that many teens don’t seem to understand that sending anything over the cell phone or Internet makes it public. The study confirmed that when sexy content is sent, it is not likely to remain private. More than one in five teen guys (22 percent) admits to having shared sexually suggestive messages that they received which had been intended to be private. And 39 percent of boys and 38 percent of girls have had sexy messages shared with them.
What can you do? Talk to your kids about sexting, texting and cell phones. Research texting if you are not familiar with it. Review some of the abbreviations so that you can be knowledgeable when your kids talk to you. Talk to your kids about what they are doing with their cell phones, and when they are online, and know who they are communicating with. The use of cell phones, as well as being online on the computer, is a privilege and comes with responsibilities. Parents need to establish rules up front and to frequently monitor that the rules are being followed.
It is important for your teens to understand that messages or pictures that they send on their cell phones or on the internet are definitely not private or anonymous. They also need to know that other people may forward their pictures and/or messages to people they do not know. No teen wants to think that their relationship might end, but they do need to understand that sexting puts them at risk and that others can access their information that was supposed to be private. Once these photos and messages are out in cyberspace, others, including schools, administrators and employers, may view them and use them to make decisions about future employment and placement. It is critical that youth understand the potential short and long-term consequences of their actions.
It is not snooping to check out your teen’s MySpace, Facebook and other online profiles from time to time. This is public information that others are looking at, so you can look, too. Make sure you are clear with your teen about what you consider appropriate cyberspace behavior, including what language is unacceptable and what is and will not be allowed online. Be a nag! Remind them often, to reinforce that you are monitoring them because you care about them.
For those of us who consider ourselves barely functional on the computer, it is important to realize that technology continues to move on at an incredible pace. Take the time to educate yourselves about texting, sexting and cell phones. Get involved and talk to your kids about what is happening. After discussing this issue with your kids, consider downloading the Parent and Teen Contract for Cell Phone Use.
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