Inclusion: A Church’s Quest

By Mary Lindell

My husband and I are parents of two children — a son, Andrew, who has Down syndrome and a daughter, Taylor. I am a special education professional; I champion positive inclusive outcomes for people living with disabilities in schools and communities. My husband and I strive to provide meaningful, enriching, inclusive opportunities for our son. The Eden Prairie Presbyterian Church (EPPC) community has been partnering with our family for over ten years to provide Andrew opportunities to belong and grow in Christ. Following are questions we have asked as we follow this quest.

Will you meet the needs of my child and family even if it’s hard?

“This church will probably not be able to meet the needs of my child (our family).” This was my husband’s comment to the music director and pastor’s wife at Eden Prairie Presbyterian Church. Andrew (our son) was not even born and because we knew he had Down syndrome, Tom and I were steeling ourselves for … what? Rejection? Disappointment? Isolation? She looked squarely at us (probably pointed her finger) and said, “This church WILL minister to you and your family.” It was a prophetic word.

Why be inclusive?

I am not a theologian but I offer the following thoughts about why churches should minister to people with disabilities and their families.

• It seems to me that God is inclusive. As I read the Bible, I see God interested in those marginalized by society: those who are widows, orphans, poor, disabled.
• Disabilities exist and faith communities need to respond in a Godly manner to the spiritual, emotional and material needs of people with disabilities and their families.
• Humanity is created in God’s image — all people are created in the image of God.

Our son, Andrew, was less than a month old. I was talking with our pastor on the phone as I rocked Andrew in the rocking chair in his room. It was a sunny, winter afternoon and I remember the warmth from Andrew’s body and the blanket around him. The pastor was encouraging me that Andrew was a beautiful, perfect boy made in God’s image. I remember wanting to embrace these words while wanting to scream into the phone “Don’t you realize Andrew has an extra chromosome in every cell in his body? This is not perfect! I’m not sure that it is a mistake, but perfect? … God’s image?”

It was years before the pastor’s words became my own. In a sense he and others in our church family believed for me that God’s image has nothing to do with chromosomes or abilities. I am thankful for those who supported and believed for us and brought us into greater understanding of the unique ways God has gifted his children.

What do you hope for in your faith community?

What do we hope for Andrew and Taylor? What do we hope for our family? We hope to belong in a community of believers growing in faith. We hope through scripture, worship and fellowship that our kids will become Christ’s followers with individual, vibrant faiths and Tom and I will continue to grow in faith. We hope that each of our gifts will be used to contribute to God’s work in the church community and beyond. We hope to be loved and love as Christ loves.

How do we support each other?

We moved from Eden Prairie and attended another church. Andrew has a knack for connecting with the right people. The pastor’s son liked Andrew and become his “inclusion assistant” at church and chief babysitter at home. It was a wonderful relationship but we didn’t see it replicated for other families in this large church. Andrew made it happen.

God brought us back to Eden Prairie and Eden Prairie Presbyterian Church in 2003. Andrew was in first grade, Taylor was in fifth.

“I want to gather a group of people to support Andrew.” Jeanette Twedten, Christian Education Director at EPPC, approached me with this statement soon after we returned to EPPC. One simple sentence assured me that Andrew would be included in the ministries of EPPC. I would not have to be responsible for making all of the pieces fit — Jeanette would gather a group (A GROUP!) of people to support him (US). What a blessing!

Andrew has attended Sunday school with his typical peers since returning to EPPC. Jeanette has recruited, trained and scheduled youth to partner with Andrew in Sunday school, vacation Bible school and other children’s ministry activities. Andrew and each of us in his family enjoy church activities together and separately. We are each ministered to and we each serve.

What do families need?

Children’s ministry is often the first opportunity our church has to minister to families and Jeanette and her volunteers are praying to discern what each family needs. The Lindells need to know that Andrew and Taylor are loved and included. We need partners to encourage us to grow in Christ. We need to worship, fellowship, grow and serve.

What’s the problem?

About a year ago my husband and I were concerned that Andrew was not being successful in his inclusive Sunday school. Tom and I concocted a plan of having Andrew separated from his peers to have individualized, youth-directed activities to parallel the large and small group activities. This was a departure from the goals and needs we previously expressed. I approached Jeanette. “What’s the problem?” she asked and I stammered that Andrew was not benefiting from the Sunday school time. In her calm, wise, and caring way, Jeanette reminded me of our hopes for Andrew: that he belong to a community (he was part of the grade-level community), that he develop in his faith through worship, scripture and fellowship (he participated in all of those things and was demonstrating increased understanding), that he be appreciated and loved (children, youth and adults cared about Andrew), and that he serve (Andrew participated in the group service projects)). Through her gentle guidance, Jeanette persuaded me that inclusion in Sunday school with his typical peers was working.

How can we include your child in more meaningful ways?

Dr. John Ward had been the new pastor of EPPC for just a few months. At fellowship time between Sunday services he approached me. “I’ve been thinking about Andrew,” he said. My heart raced and my palms sweated. First of all, it’s hard to be anonymous when you are the parent of a bald (Andrew has alopecia) child with Down syndrome. Secondly, I hardly knew John and I felt vulnerable talking with him about Andrew. “He comes up for children’s sermons every Sunday,” John continued. This was true, I thought, has Andrew made some bad choices at the front of the church? “I was wondering how I could include him more,” John said. He really did — he said “include him more.” What a blessing to be at a church where Andrew is embraced and we are all supported.

More than ten years ago our pastor’s wife predicted that EPPC would minister to Andrew and our family. God has used EPPC mightily in the life of each member of our family to grow our faith in Jesus Christ.

Mary Lindell is a PhD student. Her area of interest is improving inclusive outcomes for people with disabilities and their families. Mary is an elder at the Eden Prairie Presbyterian Church, Eden Prairie, Minnesota.