Living With Tough Questions

The Rev. Bebe Baldwin
Vice Moderator, Presbyterians for Disability Concerns (PDC)

A woman who is blind was riding on her community’s transportation system for people with disabilities. The driver turned to the passengers and announced that their disabilities were God’s punishment for their sins.

A college student with cerebral palsy was accosted on his campus by a “Christian” group who told him that if he had enough faith, he would be cured.

A woman who had lost the use of her legs because of an automobile accident was told by a friend, “Your loss is God’s will. It will make you stronger and a better person.”

Thoughtful people have always wrestled with the “Why?” questions. As humans, we seek for meaning. The opinions expressed in the three vignettes are not uncommon among “religious” people. How can we, as pastoral caregivers, deal sensitively with the issues that were raised?

We may need to begin by examining our own feelings about people who are living with disabilities. Do we agree with the opinions expressed above? Do we regard persons with disabilities as needing to be “cured” or “fixed?” (See “The Fix, Cure and Kill Syndrome of Life with a Disability” in the 2008 Access Sunday Resources.) Or, are we able to affirm people with disabilities as having been created in the Image of God? Do we recognize people with disabilities as members of the Body of Christ with valuable gifts to be treasured by the community? Are we ready to listen … and to listen with our full attention?

Even with the best intentions, we cannot “fix” everything for another person. “Prayerful listening” may be the most important gift we can share. Too often, we want to rush in with answers and solutions. When we do so, however, we may be answering questions that the person, especially someone who is newly disabled, is not asking! Questions like “How can I keep my job?” or “How will I get my groceries?” or “How can I pay the drug bill?” have to be answered immediately. Questions like “Where is God in my life now?” may have to wait.

But let’s return to the issues raised at the beginning of this article. Here are some suggestions that may be helpful as you listen attentively and prayerfully.

Is my disability God’s punishment for my sins?

It is true that some disabilities are caused by sin. For example, reckless driving causes many injuries that result in disabilities. However, many people with disabilities are victims of someone else’s sin. Consider, for example, a person whose disability is a result of family violence or an innocent victim in a drive-by shooting.

The Biblical witness about the relationship between sin and disability is confusing because in Jesus’ culture, sin and disability were linked. Yet, when Jesus’ disciples asked whose sin, his own or his parents, had caused a man to be born blind, Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned …” (John 9:3)

In another setting Jesus was asked about people who had suffered from catastrophes—human and natural. He answered, “Do you think that because these Galileans suffered in this way they were worse sinners than all other Galileans? ... do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others living in Jerusalem?” (Luke 13:1-5)

Since we are all sinners, the question becomes, if our disabilities were caused by our sin, why were some “chosen” to live with disabilities? For some religious people, the “sin” explanation for disability may be a way to keep at bay a condition that is feared or a way to justify actions believed to be God’s will. For an excellent discussion of Christian thinking about the relationship of sin and disability, see A Healing Homiletic: Preaching and Disability by Kathy Black.

If I have enough faith, will I be healed?

Jesus’ words, “Your faith has made you well,” have been misinterpreted. The key is the difference between “curing” and “healing.” Cure describes a physical condition; healing refers to the whole person in a community. Healing means wholeness; the Biblical word is similar to the Hebrew word “shalom.” (See “Healing vs. Curing: Reflections for Pastoral caregivers,” 2008 Access Sunday Resources.)

One of the strongest answers to this question can be found in the lives of persons of great faith who are living with creativity and grace with their disabilities. These are persons whose gifts have enriched the lives of many of us. We can use the Apostle Paul as a Biblical example. He had a disability. We don’t know the nature of his disability but we know, from his writing, that he wrestled with it and prayed fervently about it. He was finally able to witness to the grace he received, his “healing.” Surely, he was a person of great faith! (II Cor. 12:7-9)

The story in Mark 2:1-12 gives another perspective on faith. This time, however, it is the faith of those who brought a man to Jesus for healing. When they could not get the man through the door, they cut a hole in the roof. The writer tells us nothing about the faith of the man who was healed. Instead, we are told that Jesus recognized the faith of his companions. It is the church that needs greater faith!

Your loss is God’s will. It will make you stronger and a better person.

This statement goes to the very heart of what we believe about God. As Christians we believe in a god who is Love. Can we trust a god who inflicts pain? Life itself presents enough challenges without divinely mandated suffering.

When God called Moses to lead the people to freedom, Moses heard, “I have observed the misery of my people who are in Egypt; I have heard their cry on account of their taskmasters. Indeed, I know their sufferings …” (Ex. 3:7) Jesus spent his ministry alleviating suffering. He himself suffered, not as a sinner but as a victim of an oppressive system. His resurrected body was scarred and “imperfect” (John 20:19-20). Many theologies tell us that when we suffer, God suffers with us just as Heaven rejoices when we are glad.

Anger with God is often part of the grieving process. The stages of grief, however, do not pass in neat procession. Anger may reemerge with new frustrations. At those times, we can relate to the feelings expressed in some of the Psalms. (See Psalms 13 and 22, for example.)

As for becoming stronger, better people — persons with disabilities make choices about our lives just like our more able-bodied peers. People with disabilities can and often do develop profound sensitivity. Our marginalized status and the energy and resourcefulness to live each day creatively can nurture grace-filled lives. However, people with disabilities do not want to be held up as saints, superheroes, or super-achievers. We want to be accepted as we are.

I believe that, as we listen to people whose faith is challenged, we can say honestly that we can’t always know why things happen to us. The wonderful thing about our lives, however, is that God is always present — in us and through us. This is true even at the worst of times. We may not always feel God’s presence but we can know it in the touch of the community. We may not always be able to pray, but we can depend on the prayers of other people of faith. As members of one Body, as members of a called community, we can be part of God’s loving presence. We don’t always have “answers” but we can be present with the person with prayerful, attentive listening, and sometimes, with a loving touch and silence that says, “I care about you.”