Justice and Peace Links

The electronic newsletter of the Presbyterian Women Justice and Peace Committee

Violence Against Women and Children

By Margaret Welsh

Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors used to control others. It can occur in any relationship, regardless of income, race, education, ethnic background, personal ability, sexual orientation, marital status or social standing. When children are raised in a climate of abuse and neglect, chemical dependency and family violence, their futures hang in the balance.

Two Stories
Tracey was a minor when she set fire to her family’s home. She did it to avoid sexual abuse by her stepfather. Her stepfather survived but her two siblings did not. Relatives and friends confirm that Tracy had been a victim of sexual abuse since the age of four, by several father figures. She dropped out of school when she was 14. Her mother admitted to being married to three men at once. Her life was in turmoil and no one reached out to her. The community failed her and now she is being sent to prison.

Listen to the story of 10-year-old Zoey. One day she was on her hands and knees looking for a missing television remote. Instead, she found bags of drugs, under the couch. Her mother was focused on methamphetamine rather than her children. She would leave Zoey alone at night and often tell her that she was going to kill herself. Zoey was so worried that she couldn’t sleep. Often, Zoey played the part of parent by breaking up fights between her mother and her mother’s boyfriend. She says she would get between them to make them stop. She made the meals and cared for her brother, who was six years younger. Zoey now attends a support group called Kids Supporting Kids of Addicted Parents.

Biblical/Theological Dimensions
“It is not enemies who taunt me — I could bear that; it is not adversaries who deal insolently with me — I could hide from them. But it is you, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend, with whom I kept pleasant company; we walked in the house of God with the throng” (Psalm 55:12–14).

“The effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever. My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings and in quiet resting places” (Isaiah 32: 17–18).

If you or any member of your family feels threatened by violence, call the Domestic Violence Hotline. Each state has its own hotline. You do have rights. Learn to recognize the signs of abuse:

• Losing control
• Being humiliated
• Feeling guilty
• Being intimidated
• Feeling fearful

What Can Presbyterian Women Do?

1. Contact the family violence center or women’s shelter in your community. Become a trained volunteer.
2. Make a donation of food, money or clothing to the family violence center or women’s shelter in your community.
3. Pray for victims of domestic abuse.
4. Share problems, as well as good news, with other Presbyterian Women.
5. Voice your concerns about state laws concerning domestic abuse and its effect on children with your governor, representatives and senators. Voice your concerns to your congressional representation in Washington, D.C., as well.
6. Sign up for Justice and Peace Alerts for Women.
7. Consider joining the Presbyterians Against Domestic Violence Network
8. Order Keeping the Faith: Guidance for Christian Women Facing Abuse, by Marie Fortune, for your church library (New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1995). The book addresses issues of faith for abused women, and is an essential resource for victims and anyone providing pastoral care. It is available through the FaithTrust Institute, or call (877) 860-2255 or (206) 634-0055.

Resources

1. Turn Mourning into Dancing
The policy statement on healing domestic violence approved by the 213th General Assembly (2001) is accompanied by a study guide. To order, call Presbyterian Distribution Service (PDS), (800) 524-2612; ask for item OGA01018.

2. Striking Terror No More: The Church Responds to Domestic Violence, edited by Beth Basham and Sara Lisherness (Louisville, Ky.: Bridge Resources, 1997). Revised 2005. This handbook raises awareness in the church of the issue of domestic violence. It includes articles on the types of domestic violence, lesson plans for using this resource to educate church members, and worship resources. Order from PDS, (800) 524-2612; ask for item 157153069X.

3. The Cry of Tamar: Violence Against Women and the Church’s Response, by Pamela Cooper-White (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1995). A comprehensive and practical assessment of different forms of violence against women, with appropriate pastoral responses to each.

4. Broken Vows: Religious Perspectives on Domestic Violence. A documentary film by FaithTrust Institute (Seattle: FaithTrust Institute, 1994). This two-part presentation (37 minutes, 22 minutes) on religious issues related to domestic violence includes a study guide and packet of awareness brochures. To order, contact the FaithTrust Institute at (877) 860-2255 or (206) 634-0055.

5. In Her Shoes: Living with Domestic Violence is an interactive educational tool that helps participants experience the ups and downs a battered woman might experience, and reflect on what the community can do. Published by the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Contact Nancy Troy, Presbyterian Health, Education and Welfare Association, to borrow the resource. Two other editions of In Her Shoes are available from The Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence: Caminando en sus Zapatos (based on stories of Latina survivors); and the newest, In Her Shoes: Economic Justice Edition, published in 2005.

6. Wings like a Dove: Healing for the Christian Abused Women. A documentary by FaithTrust Institute (Seattle: FaithTrust Institute, 1997), this 34-minute video presents an in-depth discussion of theological issues that are troubling or confusing for Christian women in abusive relationships: blame, submission, anger, the marriage covenant, divorce, repentance, forgiveness, despair and faith. Available through FaithTrust Institute, (877) 860-2255 or (206) 634-0055.

7. National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, (800) 537-2238.
The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (NRCDV), founded in 1993, is a key component in the national network of domestic violence resources. The NRCDV provides support to all organizations and individuals working to end violence.

8. National Domestic Violence Hotline, (800) 799-SAFE (7233); (800) 787-3224, for those who are hearing impaired. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is answered 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish, with access to more than 140 languages through interpreter services.

By Dolores Larsen, Director of ROSE Advocates, Weiser, Idaho

“I was once a victim of domestic violence. Now I’m a survivor.” That’s what we at ROSE Advocates love to hear from someone we’ve helped through our program. About two years ago, a young woman, a mother of two young boys, came into our office for help. She knew that if she didn’t change what was happening to her, the lives of her children would most likely follow hers, in her footsteps. It was not an easy change to make. She had no job, no transportation and no money.

Through the donation of a car from local benefactors and help with financial aid, she was able to attend college. She and her boys have a home and, most importantly, they are safe. The cycle for them has ended. Our survivor is now ready to graduate from college and go to work for the Idaho’s Forestry Department.

When we meet a victim of domestic violence, it’s easy to ask, “Why do you stay?” We need to ask, “What keeps you there?” She or he will tell you. When we understand what keeps a victim in an abusive relationship, then we know how to help. We learn what resources to look for.

ROSE Advocates’ dream to have a shelter providing immediate safety to those who need it is a reality through a 2005 Presbyterian Women Birthday Offering grant. The grant encouraged other giving. The donated property for the new shelter was covered with huge trees. We wondered how we would be able to remove them, since the estimated cost to do so was $10,000. But a local tree service heard of our need. They removed the trees and the detritus was cleaned up, all at no cost to us. God continues to bless us beyond our expectations as we carry out our work — helping victims of domestic violence in our economically impoverished rural counties.