It is often asked: "How can we get the young people to come into our church? Now that they're old enough to understand the service, why don't they worship with us?" I believe these questions contain the heart of the problem. Too many grown-ups think it is "our church."

Somewhere along the way adults got the idea that the church belongs to them. Children may be seen, but definitely should not be heard—not crying, laughing or talking. They can sing up front when they're scrubbed up, looking and acting very unnatural. Just don't let them act like children in the pews. I have too often watched with pain as an adult turns toward a noisy baby to glare, scowl, or clear their throat loudly. The embarrassed mom and dad grimace in shame; the baby picks up the vibe. And they don't come back to church. I have heard too many young parents say that they are hungry for a spiritual community for worship, but they are made to feel unwelcome because of their children's childlike behavior. Why would young people who have been glared and scowled out of the sanctuary all their lives suddenly feel welcome when they enter junior high school?

Jesus' inner circle of disciples wanted to chase the children away from him. The spiritually hungry common people simply wanted Jesus to bless their children. The disciples did not want Jesus to be bothered. They assumed he had more important grown-up stuff to do. The disciples "spoke sternly to those who brought them" (Matthew 19:13) and they "ordered them not to do it" (Luke 18:15).

But Jesus told the disciples to back off. "Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs" (Matthew 19:14). Jesus welcomed them and he dignified them by laying his hands on them to bless them. These little children the disciples treated like aliens turned out to be the very model of how to enter the kingdom of God (Mark 10:15).

What if we act differently to welcome these little aliens when they make noise and commotion in worship? Instead of a glare or scowl, how about giving an appreciative smile and a friendly, sympathetic wink? Why not bring to worship a pad of paper and a few colored pencils in your pocket to share with a restless child?

When a baby cries during the sermon, what if the pastor does not try to ignore the noise? What if he or she turns her eyes upward with a breath of grateful wonder and says out loud, "Thank you, God, for the gift of children in our midst who bring us life and joy and promise and hope." When an infant wails during a prayer, what if the leader responds immediately with, "Thank you, God, for children who remind us how to pray even when we have no words; thank you for understanding our prayer when all we can do is wail and groan"?

The church and the kingdom of heaven do not belong to the grown-ups. The church belongs to Jesus, who welcomes the children. Many churches struggle to know how to welcome the aliens. We can start by obeying Jesus and welcoming the children—our own little aliens.

Next month:
Cornelius: a soldier seeking God