When women get sick …
… they need support, and the author of a coming book on how that can best happen is the guest on ‘A Matter of Faith: A Presby Podcast’
LOUISVILLE — Rebecca Bloom, whose book “When Women Get Sick: An Empowering Approach for Getting the Support You Need” will be published July 29, was the guest of host Simon Doong this week on “A Matter of Faith: A Presby Podcast.” Listen to their 50-minute conversation here.
Doong opened with this question: The U.S. health care system disadvantages many groups of people, but especially women. How can women and those that support them navigate this system so that women can actually get the care they truly need?
“First, no woman should ever go on a health journey alone,” Bloom answered. She tells people she works with to “draft your team when you go into a health journey.” Match the skills people have with what the patient needs.
“Say you have a relative who’s an accountant. That would be a good person to keep a spreadsheet,” Bloom said. “Somebody who’s a great cook, just ask them to make extra food. It’s not hard for that person. Draft your team and rely on others so you can do the work that you need to do, which is healing or getting better or birthing a child. Save your energy for the fundamentals.”
There’s no such thing as asking your health care provider too many questions, Bloom said. “Women have indeed been under-researched,” she said. “Pain can get dismissed. We have evidence of all this.”
“There is nothing more important than your health. Don’t edit yourself,” she advises the women she works with. “Ask the right questions and ask as many as you need to. That said, prepare and be a good partner to your doctor. Communicate clearly. Take notes. Be respectful. All those things add up to a better health journey.”
If you’re employed, “remember also to start from a cooperative place,” Bloom said. “Your employer, human resources [department] and co-workers are also part of your team. Our safety net in this country is imperfect, but if we think about our social connections, our relationships and our ability to communicate respectfully with one another, we can do so much better for women.”
That first task — drafting a team — is something faith communities and churches can provide, Doong pointed out. “It can be as simple as someone bringing a meal or saying ‘just sit with me.’ It’s something the church is pretty good at.”
If there’s a doctor in your faith community, that physician can help you to read your scans, Bloom said. “Maybe a lawyer in your community can say, ‘you need to appeal that bill you got? Let me help you write that letter.’ We have these things available to us if we will just link arms with the people we are connected with.”
Asking for help can be difficult for many women, Bloom said. “We’re conditioned as women to hold up the sky, take care of everybody, to always be thinking about what everybody else needs,” said Bloom, an attorney. “It’s uncomfortable and difficult and frankly intimate to express that we’re the ones who have a need.”
Just as patients are entitled to the health care benefits they’ve paid into, “so, too, with the social and spiritual capital that you’ve contributed to,” Bloom said. “It’s a strength and a blessing to receive in the same way you’ve always given.”
Bloom shared the story of her first job out of law school: translating a complicated insurance plan into plain English.
“Fast-forward all these years later, and I’ve finally flipped the script and took those ninja skills I learned in the corporate world and used them to serve women in the system,” Bloom said. “That’s exactly what a person like me can do for folks. … Anyone with some experience with the industry and the way things are articulated can be super helpful to anybody who’s about ready to embark on a health journey, or just a [health-related] decision.”
Of course, there are others who can be of service, Bloom noted. Health insurance companies have case managers. There are assisters in the state system “who help people speak this language.” There are human resources professionals “if you’re getting coverage in your employment.” There are people who work for the government in Medicaid and Medicare “who help people understand what’s covered and what isn’t, and what it costs. There are more and more patient advocates in hospitals and in medical systems.”
Helping a person on a medical journey can start by asking, “could I help you organize the ways in which you might need help?” Bloom said. “Can we talk about the specific help you might need, so I can help you find it? I can do some of those things, or I can help you connect to the different resources you might need.”
“Be a project manager,” Bloom suggested, “not just a person of goodwill. Bring some muscle to it.”
“The truth is, nearly everyone in the community has something great they can offer,” Bloom said. “If the person says ‘no thank you,’ be gracious and be thinking about what you can do instead — not what you need to give, but what they need to receive.”
Half of what Bloom provides to people she works with fits into the category of “being a companion and a listener. If you’re not an expert at navigating the health space or workplace, I would say your listening quotient might be even higher.”
“Most of the time, it’s not about you solving for x and fixing the puzzle for them,” Bloom told Doong. “It’s about being there and being present and listening.”
Illnesses and health journeys “are laced with a ton of fear,” Bloom said. “Cosmic fear needs to be met with radical, loving listening, more than anything else.”
There are many ways to help people deal with their fear, including mindfulness, yoga, journaling, praying and walking in nature, Bloom said. “I tell people, ‘we’re all dealing with uncertainty all the time. You just happen to know the name of your specific challenge right now.”
Bloom said she interviewed “a lot of wonderful doctors” ahead of writing her book. “They all said a version of the same thing: ‘I really appreciate well-thought-out communication from my patients.’”
“I go to as many appointments with the women I help as I possibly can,” Bloom said. If you’re a patient, “you’re likely to be a stressed-out deer in the headlights, even when you get good news.”
The book is more than a how-to, Bloom said. “It’s story-filled. I wanted to do more than say, ‘do this’ or ‘do that.’ I wanted to share the stories of the women I’ve worked with. I wanted to profile their courage. … I wanted to get out the voice of the advocate and the navigator. I have this diverse group of women to show that we have so much more in common than what divides us.”
New episodes of “A Matter of Faith: A Presby Podcast” drop every Thursday. Listen to previous installments here.
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