Bridging ministry for grandparents and grandchildren

BOULDER, Colorado — Sandy Safford, the faith formation coordinator at Shepherd of the Hills Presbyterian Church in Lakewood, Colorado, has a number of tools that grandparents can use to engage in intergenerational ministry and create lasting memories with their grandchildren as well as other children and youth at their church. During a “Grandparent/Grandchild Ministry” workshop last week as part of the annual conference of the Presbyterian Older Adult Ministries Network, Safford discussed dozens of tried-and-true options.

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Safford helpfully grouped the ideas into eight categories: retreats and camps, activities that bridge or cross the generations, grandparent days, equipping grandparents, long-distance grandparenting for keeping in touch, holidays, writing and sharing your stories, and congregations and worship.

Safford is herself a first-time grandmother, but made it clear “you don’t have to be a grandparent” to engage some of the ideas she shared from her more than 30 years’ experience. “They are for equipping grandparents and how we as church leaders can provide opportunities beyond the church for grandparents in our communities,” she said.

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In many faith communities, “so many folks serve as grandparents without being blood relatives,” Safford said. Her own children fondly remember the “substitute grandparents” from her family’s 10 years in Utah. “My children were so loved. We all have folks who just want to love on our kids and our youth. Take advantage of that,” she advised workshop participants. “They have gifts to share.”

Among Safford’s many ideas for intergenerational ministry:

• A Grandparent Retreat, which “should be easy for a lay leader to do for a weekend. There are a variety of activities, and it’s flexible,” Safford said. “You can make it happen with a small team.” One thing Safford has observed is that “it’s a whole different experience when the parents aren’t there. There are precious moments of listening, discovering from one another, and sharing stories.” The weekend is designed “for kids and grandparents to get to hear each other’s stories. Also, for grandparents to chat with one another.”
• One grandmother Safford knows has a grandchild who lives far away. The grandmother writes her grandchild every week and tucks some stickers into the envelope. When they video chat, the grandchild shares with her grandmother what she did with the stickers. “That’s an easy connection,” Safford said.
• It’s also relatively easy to host an intergenerational tea party around the holidays, mixing generations at the tables and supplying each table with a board game. To mix things up, Safford will call “time” after a few minutes and have children rotate to another table, picking up the board game as it is at their new table.
• At a scavenger hunt on church grounds or in a park, participants can look for certain objects or colors, bringing them back to share. Invariably, a grandpa will bring back a blade of grass after following instructions to find something green, put it between his fingers and make it whistle. Pretty soon, all the grandchildren are following suit, Safford said.
• Safford uses the “Growing in God’s Love” children’s Bible and others. Flyaway Books has a number of titles exploring difficult topics, including “My Elephant is Blue,” Melinda Szymanik’s book about “big, heavy feelings.”
• Birthday adventures are fun events for both old and young, and don’t add to the typical pile of presents the grandchild receives. It can be a day of “doing something together” involving just the grandparent and the grandchild.
• Beloved magazines Ranger Rick and Highlights are still around, Safford noted.
• “Faith on Our Feet” is a series of monthly gatherings Safford’s church offered to blend worship and a mission project.

“Part of my ministry is to equip everyone to build relationships,” Safford said. “I strongly believe we need to provide that for every kid in the congregation.”