Participants submit helpful ideas around last week’s ‘Holy Shift’ presentation

LOUISVILLE — Last week’s initial “Holy Shift” presentation by Dr. Josh Packard of TryTank Research Institute drew an online crowd of more than 500 people and elicited dozens of responses from people interested in what the study attempted to uncover: “What happens when ‘nones’ have kids?”

The second “Holy Shift” presentation begins at 1 p.m. Eastern Time on Monday, Sept. 8. The series, co-sponsored by the Around the Table initiative and 1001 New Worshiping Communities, concludes with a third presentation at 1 p.m. Eastern Time on Sept. 23.

“Holy Shift” organizers thought participants and others can benefit from reading some of the online comments made during Packard’s 90-minute presentation, which can be viewed here.

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Organizers asked participants, “What is one hope or challenge young parents you know are carrying right now?”

Responses included “overprogrammed and under-resourced,” “a desire to slow down and be with their kids,” “disconnect,” “tensions between church and sports,” “finding community,” “mental health stresses,” “exhausted body, mind and spirit,” “hopelessness around the political situation,” “not enough help,” “the weight of the world our children are inheriting,” “the ease and access of technology as an undermining influence,” “trying to add yet one more thing to do,” “childcare and daycare germs,” “no sabbath — even with church,” “unrealistic expectations of what they ‘should’ be doing,” “pulled in so many directions,” “finding relationships with other parents,” “so many narratives defining ‘the good life,’” “navigating neurodivergent children,” “feeling guilty about where church ‘stacks up’ in their week,” “finding safe space for their kids,” “sometimes talking to adults is nice too,” “avoiding meltdowns” and “the isolation and loneliness of modern parenting.”

Participants commented and asked questions throughout Packard’s talk, which was based on TryTank Research Institute’s Young Adult Parents Research Project.

“I have heard that we’re seeing this trend to non-membership not just in churches but also in other institutions that previously relied on membership,” said one participant. “Have you seen this as a trend as well?”

“So, if I understand this correctly,” said another, “this [research] is showing that the parents are simply matching their values with their activity in church?” Another responded, “I have heard that many times!”

“So many parents feel like they are doing it all alone,” said another. “As a parent of two with no local family support, I definitely feel this. The church still has the same expectations of parents and young families that it did 30-50 years ago.”

“For the young parents that I know,” said a participant, “it is also a struggle to connect with churches because the church treats them like a merit badge to be earned or someone to replenish the financial or volunteer hole that exists in that community, the ‘what can I do for us?’ instead of ‘how can the church show up well for them?’”

“If a church is looking for a generation with time and money, then the church really needs to grow in its 55-80 age group (that’s sort of facetious but true),” said another participant. “Young families don’t have time or money, but it seems to be that they need community. PS: I am a 62-year-old grandparent raising (with my wife) two elementary-aged grandchildren.”

A number of participants thanked Packard for his presentation. “Thank you, Josh. I feel like this data is reading my diary,” said one. “Very affirming and helpful.”

“Anecdotally, when we nurture parents’ spiritual lives, they find community. When they find community, they feel less stressed and less alone,” said one participant, “and to me, that is what church is meant to be about.”

“I am going to ask the parents in my church what I can do for them,” one participant said.

Another noted that “I’m fascinated that there are people who want religion for their kids, but not for themselves.”

As for insights gained from the research and its presentation, one said it’s “how the church can be a resource instead of making more requests.” Another identified the responsibility “to go out to where they are.”

“The church needs to show up for parents and not make them tokens,” said one participant. “This quote,” said another: “Seeing parents as part of the mission field and not necessarily part of the fold.”

“We need to live our values/virtues out loud, so to speak,” said one. “If young parents value love and gentleness, etc., the church absolutely should be living it and modeling it in the community.”

“There is a HUGE gap in understanding of older members about the younger adult world,” said another.

“There is a gap between virtues parents find important and their trust that the church can teach these virtues,” said one commenter. “We need to spend time intentionally developing ministry that emphasizes the virtues parents find important, which really are the way of Christ.”

“Trust is not given based on title or institution,” said one. “Trust is earned in relationships.”

“Look for ways to meet practical needs of young families,” one participant suggested. “Free parents night out? Afterschool care? Easy meals to go? A free sale?”

“The church has a chance to (finally) lead the way, if it can explore how to gain trust as an institution and as faith leaders,” said another.

“The church must address and show how faith speaks to current cultural issues,” said one.

Another talked about “rethinking how to engage young families without involving them in leadership on committees. I like to get to know people, then try to find ways to plug them in. Perhaps we need to get to know them to find ways we can meet the needs they have.”